Terranigma 2 - The Sequel
By Snape
Idea completely stolen without permission off of Dais, 'cos apparently, that's what I do.
I'm sure he won't mind.

Chapter 2 - The middle, part 1

Crazy, twisted, evil Narrator : We join our hero and Yomi as they head for Freedom, in their
     				attempts to stop... me !!! HAHAHAHAHHA !!! AS IF !!!!
<Crazy, twisted, evil narrator starts eating a hamster>

*****

<Ark and Yomi board the boat at Liotto and set sail for Freedom>
Ark : Wow, this boat's a lot bigger than it was before. What do they call it again, Yomi ?
Yomi : The Titanic.
Ark : Sounds unsinkable. Touch wood.
Captain : Ahoy there mateys. This be my ship.
Ark : That's... nice.
<Ark turns around and walks off>
Captain : Wait there matey, I'd like to introduce you to someone.
<Captain brings a girl out of a cabin. It's Princess Elle !>
Ark : What the... What have you got to do with Princess Elle ?
Captain : (whispers) Listen bozo, will you stop asking these stupid pointless questions. The game
                     needed to introduce Princess Elle somehow, and I was hired for it. So leave
                     off will ya ! I could lose my job !
<Captain backs off>
Captain : Arrrrr ! She be a friend of mine.
Princess Elle : You... The boy who saved my life two years ago.
Ark : You remember me ?
Princess Elle : How could I forget a face as cute as yours.
Ark : (blushes) Good point.
<The ship sails off into the night. The following morning...>
Sailor : ICEBERG !!!
<Ark slowly opens his eyes>
Ark : (yawn) Wha...
Yomi : Wake up ! The ship is about to hit an iceberg the size of Gary Glitter, we gotta get out
       of here NOW !!!
Ark : And to think that I said this ship sounded unsinkable.
<They make a run for the deck>
Female Voice : Women and Children first !
Ark : Bugger that.
<Ark dives off the edge and lands head first on an iceberg>
Ark : (dazed) Damn.
<Chaos ensues, when things calm down, the boat is at the bottom of the ocean. Ark is lying atop
 a wooden cabinet, Princess Elle is in the sea next to him, turning a nice shade of blue>
Princess Elle : Are... we... gonna... die...
Ark : You might. I'm too important to die. Ha !
Princess Elle : W..w..w..w...what was th...that ?
Ark : (sighs) No, you're not gonna die. You're gonna die an old lady. In your bed. I think.
Princess Elle : R..r..r.really ???
<Princess Elle dies>
Ark : Ah well. C'est la vie.
<Ark rips her hand off the cabinet and watches her sink to the bottom of the ocean>
Ark : Cool.
Yomi : Touching. Now what ?
Ark : Well, what with this being a game and all, and what with me being the hero, and needing to
      get to Freedom, my guess is that if I fall asleep, I'm gonna wake up in Freedom. Watch.
<Ark falls asleep within milliseconds of putting his head down. Amazing trick>
<Seconds later, Ark opens his eyes>
Ark : Where am I ?
Perel : Hey buddy. I found you at the shore, you were unconscious so I brought you back here.
Ark : Hehe. What a coincidence - I needed to get to Freedom.
Perel : Great. It's good to see you again after all this time.
Ark : Yeah sure. What's going on in your life then ?
Perel : I got married last year.
Ark : WHAT ??? How old are you ?
Perel : 14. But age isn't important. I think you'll like her.
<Perel calls for his wife>
Perel : Honey !!! He's awake !!!
<The figure enters the door. Ark's face is washed over with fear, dread and and a nasty rash>
Ark : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
Meilin : Hey ! Miss me !
Ark : As much as I missed having piles. You, like them, are a pain in the arse.
<Meilin starts crying>
Ark : God Dammit !!!

*****

<Back in reality, Snape, Dais, Cherubae, Cyrus, Wertigon, Turbo and Splodge watch the events
 unfold>
Snape : Damn. Meilin's in it.
Dais : Oh great. Just great.
Cyrus : hmmmmm *nt*
Wertigon : I quite like her...
<Everyone glares at Wertigon. Wertigon returns the look>
Wertigon : Just kidding.
<Everyone turns back to the screen>
Turbo : Farg Harg Parg Well 'Ard
Dais : Exactly so, my canine friend.
Cherubae : Hey, I've got an idea ! Why don't we do some trading in the game ! Ya 'know, so that
           we can evolve the towns some more.
<The gang agree this is a sound idea>

*****

Ark : Errr... thanks for everything Perel. Bye.
Meilin (stopped crying) : Cya Ark ! Take care !
Ark : Go die somewhere.
<Meilin starts crying>
Ark : Mwahahaha !
<Ark starts heading out of Freedom, but then turns back and goes into a house>
Yomi : What the hell are ya doing Ark ?
Ark : I dunno... for some reason, I felt like going into this house.
Old Houseowner : (sigh) I wish I had an engine to make my automobile with.
Ark : Just a moment old timer !
<Ark rummages through his box, looking for an engine>
Ark : Err... sorry I haven't collected it yet. Will this do ?
<Hands fluff to old timer>
Old Timer : Brilliant ! I need this for my next invention ! Take this as a way of thanks !
<Old timer gives Ark a large diamond>
Ark : Sweet !
<Ark leaves Freedom and goes to the airfield. He then 'borrows' a plane and flies off>
Yomi : How the hell do you know how to fly these things ?
Ark : I don't know. For some unexplainable reason, I am able to fly planes and sail boats without
      having any experience.
Yomi : Remarkable. Head for the airfield near Mosque. That is where the crazed Narrator was last
       seen.
Ark : Roger, over and out.
<The two fly off towards Mosque>
Ark : What the...
<As they fly over Mosque, Ark notices that the town that was once covered with red blood, is now
 covered with white blood. Unusual>
Ark : OHMYGODWE'REGONNADIE!!!
<Ark notices the mountain in front of them>
Ark : Erm... Err...
<Ark looks frantically for the ejector seat button. Pressing every button he sees, he activates
 numerous facilities including windscreen wipers,  the cigarette lighter and the radio, which for
 some strange reason is locked on the Country and Western station>
Ark : It keeps getting worse ! I can't stand Country and Western !
<Ark finally presses the ejector seat button>
Ark : AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH !!!!
<Ark gets ejected from the plane>
Ark : AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH !!!!
<Ark falls from the plane>
Ark : AAAARRRRRGGGGHH...<clump>...oof !
<Ark lands>
Ark : Phew. It's a good job that Yak was there.
<Ark gets off the flat yak and dusts himself down>
Yomi : Nice flying.
Ark : I'd like to see you do better.
Yomi : I can't. I have no arms.
Ark : I rest my case. So where are we ?
Yomi : Looks like we're near to Loire. We should pop in and see if anyone can fix the engine.
<They leave the wreckage, and the flat yak and head for Loire>
<They reach Loire and enter it>
Ark : (stunned) Oh my God !!!
<Loire is covered with blood, white blood again. Dead bodies are scattered around the town>
Ark : What the hell is this ?
<Ark walks up to a woman standing up. Her head is missing, and has been replaced with a bouquet
 of flowers>
Ark : Tulips ? In this time of the year ?
Yomi : Priorities Ark.
Ark : Right. Oh my God !!! The town is dead !
Yomi : That's better.
<They search the entire town. Four people remain alive, the inn keeper, the shop merchant, the
 Magirock seller and a middle aged man>
Ark : Okay, middle aged man, I can see the importance of the other three, but what are you still
      doing alive ?
Man : Is that a diamond ?
Ark : Yeah...
Man : Can I have it ?
Ark : No...
Man : Is that a diamond ?
Ark : ...
Man : Can I have it ?
Ark : Are you kidding ?!? This is worth a fortune. I'm not going to just let you have it !
Man : Is that a diamond ?
Ark : Okay take the damn thing ! Just shut the hell up !
Man : Can I have it ?
Ark : I SAID YES, YOU UGLY GOIT !!!
Man : Oh thankyou kind sir. In return I'll let you have my airplane that I keep out back.
Ark : How handy. Now I understand why you're alive. So what happened here ?
Man : How's the airplane I gave you doing ?
Ark : (groan) Forget it. Cya.
<Ark and Yomi board the new plane and take off>
<Impressive graphics one again, followed by the new chapter text>
Screen : Chapter 3 - The middle, part 2

*****

Dais : Things are starting to get more interesting now.
Cher : Maybe. But it still seems a bit too easy.
Snape : Ahhh...
Cher/Dais : What ?
Snape : I... put it on easy. The game is completely different for each difficulty setting.
Gang : You did WHAT ??? / Woof ? / Arg Jarg Narg WHAT ??? / You did WHAT ??? *nt*
Snape : Well... you never know how hard a game is until you play it on easy...
<They all give him an evil look>
Snape : What ?
Wertigon : (sigh) Well I guess it's too late in the game to start from the beginning on normal.
Cyrus : (sigh) *nt*
Dais : Are there any drinks going ?
Snape : Sure. Left cupboard in the kitchen are some beers. Bring 'em through.
<Dias goes into the kitchen and mistakingly opens the cupboard on the right. He takes out the
 triple strength dutch lager and pours several cans into some glasses>
Dais : Here we go.
<Snape takes two of the glasses and pour them into bowls for Splodge and Turbo>
<Everyone gets a glass and takes a swig>
Cher : Geez this is strong !
Snape : Should only be 5% volume.
Cyrus : Tastes more like 105% ! *nt*
<Splodge and Turbo lap it all up and start licking out bowls, a trick taught to them by Prince
 Charles. They start staggering around>
<Soon, everyone in the room is drunk>

*****

Crazy, twisted, evil Narrator : What will happen in the next Chapter of Terranigma 2 - The 
				Sequel ? Will the Gang's state of 'being pissed' affect the
				fate of the hero, Ark ? What is the significance of the white
				blood ? Find out in the next Chapter !
<Crazy, twisted, evil Narrator takes another bite out of the now irritated hamster>

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Well, that's all for the moment. Chapter 3 will be coming soon and will be filled with the fast,
furious humour that occurred all of about... once in the above script. Errr... I haven't really
got that much thanks to say, I guess thanks to Dais for the concept, but that's all folks.
Keep it real. Chapter 3 - The middle, part 2 will be out soon ! Only at :
Castle Snape's Terranigma Page - http://members.xoom.com/Snape/terranigma.htm    ICQ - 27148634
E-Mail - Snape@xoommail.com	My site's just hit 1000 !!! Thanks to all concerned !!! Snape
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