SoulBlazerFan
Crisis Historian
Level 18: Earth Spirit Rank: Resident
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 2373
10,267
Location: M-Town, Jersey
|
SoulBlazerFan Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:05 pm Post subject: My Stand-up Act |
|
|
A few weeks back, I devised a small comedy routine. Read on, my friends;
I've worked at Target for just over three years now, and let me tell you, the worst part about it is the people. They suck. Bad.
No, just kidding. Actually, the worst part is Christmas time. You'd think with all the happy hoo-blah it wouldn't be, but trust me, in retail, Christmas can be hell. Idiot customers, or "Guests," as Target refers to them as.
But there are a few cool things. For instance, we carry these light up displays. There's bucks, moose, snowmen, Santa, and even a six foot long train. I almost bought one of these, until I read the packaging:
"Warning: this product contains LEAD, know in the state of California to cause cancer."
Apparently, the other 49 states in the US don't know what causes cancer, but California does. I think they should change the state motto to: "Welcome to California. Enjoy the sun, sand and surf.... and cancer."
You'd better be careful if you have any relatives over there. I called my uncle Ned recently...
Me: Hey uncle Ned, how you doing?"
Ned: Not so good, sonny-boy. I got cancer.
Me: Shit, it's Christmas time already?
(Brief pause for laugh)
The other day a guest calls because she has a broken bike. She bitches, pisses and complains until she gets it her way. We fix her bike, and stash it. One of my co-workers called her a "Very Angry Guest."
I told him to take the initials of "Very Angry Guest" and it would mean the same exact thing.
He still hasn't figured it out.
(That's about it. Tell me what you think, leave some love, whatever you like). _________________ "...at first it's fine and you think you have a dark side – it's exciting – and then you realise the dark side wins every time if you decide to indulge in it. It's also a completely different way of living when you know that...a different species of person." - Lana Del Rey
This User Has Completed
SBiF: Uppercutting cats since '09 |
|
Blade
Level 18: Earth Spirit Rank: Resident
Joined: 10 Mar 2005
Posts: 2630
8,496
Location: somewhere around nothing
|
Blade Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Dry & evil humor, not my taste tbh., but I'm not a humorous person after all, so don't listen to me ^^ |
|
tay120n64
The Koholint Knight
Level 19: Soul Blazer Rank: Moderator
Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Posts: 3186
7,572
Location: North Castle, Hyrule
|
tay120n64 Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
hmmm... It's not bad. It could use a little fine tuning, but you're off to a good start. Congrats. _________________
|
|