My Stand-up Act

[SoulBlazerFan]

A few weeks back, I devised a small comedy routine. Read on, my friends;

I've worked at Target for just over three years now, and let me tell you, the worst part about it is the people. They suck. Bad.

No, just kidding. Actually, the worst part is Christmas time. You'd think with all the happy hoo-blah it wouldn't be, but trust me, in retail, Christmas can be hell. Idiot customers, or "Guests," as Target refers to them as.

But there are a few cool things. For instance, we carry these light up displays. There's bucks, moose, snowmen, Santa, and even a six foot long train. I almost bought one of these, until I read the packaging:

"Warning: this product contains LEAD, know in the state of California to cause cancer."

Apparently, the other 49 states in the US don't know what causes cancer, but California does. I think they should change the state motto to: "Welcome to California. Enjoy the sun, sand and surf.... and cancer."

You'd better be careful if you have any relatives over there. I called my uncle Ned recently...

Me: Hey uncle Ned, how you doing?"

Ned: Not so good, sonny-boy. I got cancer.

Me: Shit, it's Christmas time already?

(Brief pause for laugh)

The other day a guest calls because she has a broken bike. She bitches, pisses and complains until she gets it her way. We fix her bike, and stash it. One of my co-workers called her a "Very Angry Guest."

I told him to take the initials of "Very Angry Guest" and it would mean the same exact thing.

He still hasn't figured it out.


(That's about it. Tell me what you think, leave some love, whatever you like).

[Blade]

Dry & evil humor, not my taste tbh., but I'm not a humorous person after all, so don't listen to me ^^

[tay120n64]

hmmm... It's not bad. It could use a little fine tuning, but you're off to a good start. Congrats.