TerraEarth Forums


The Fourth of July- An Evening of Jerks

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    TerraEarth Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Jason Tandro
The Undying TE Fanatic

Level 20: Guardian of Pandora
Rank: Moderator

Moderator


Joined: 04 Dec 2004
Posts: 6383
Gems 8,090
Location: Tiptoeing the line between confidence and arrogance.

PostJason Tandro Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:44 am   Post subject: The Fourth of July- An Evening of Jerks Reply with quote

Reply with quote
To my American friends: Happy Independence Day!

To my Canadian friends: Happy day that everybody remembers instead of Canada Day.

To my other friends: Happy Thursday!

So... I dealt with a couple of jerks tonight. And because they are particularly interesting stories, so I'd like to go ahead and tell you all about them.


===STORY 1: Drunken Noise Violator Dude===

The first douchebag I had to deal with kept his music blasting really loud in our apartment complex at 11 PM. Now I hate to sound like an old guy, but 11 PM is quiet hours for a reason. Some of us have to get up to work. And if it were just kinda loud, like to the point where I could hear it through the walls, I'd be okay with it. Side-effect of living in an apartment. He had his music so loud STUFF WAS SHAKING IN MY APARTMENT. That is no exaggeration.

So I handle it like any suburbian american handles loud noise in an apartment building. I banged on the ceiling. He bangs back and then charges down without bothering to put a shirt on and starts bitching at me. He then proceeds to call me a potsmoker (which is fucking hilarious because of how adamantly anti-pot I used to be) and telling me to kiss his ass. He's drunk, both clearly and by his own admission. I tell him to go back to his place, we exchange curse words as is the male custom and he goes back to his apartment.

It could have ended there. But just to further engage what I'll wholly admit is little more than a glorified prick-waving competition between the two of us he turns his music up even louder.

So I grit my teeth and pull a Daffy Duck on this drunken douchebag saying to myself: "Of course you realize, this means war."

Now this is the way to handle these problems, my friends. Why use your fists when you can use your brains? Did I retaliate in kind and become part of the problem? No. I let the appropriate authorities handle this situation by which I mean of course I called the police. That's right, my grand master revenge upon this man who so affronted me was to tell on him.

Inglorious? Possibly. But this is tenement warfare and the ends justify the means. I wanted that music turned down so that I could get some sleep without having to worry about my wife's dolls diving headfirst into our floor because the music made them lose control.

So like a boss, Joe Policeman arrives on the scene and handles said drunken loser. I hear the conversation in which the officer very politely and tactfully tries to handle the drunk guy who is bitching at the officer and insisting that I'm really the one who started it because my music is always so loud (in fairness to his point there was one instance when we first moved in where my wife had the TV up WAAAAY too loud and the dude had to come down and tell us to turn it down.)

The argument grows into an out and out shouting match between the tenant and the cop , because the tenant is demanding to have the cop talk to me. The cop says "your music is the only music I'm hearing right now, sir." He goes "I want you to talk to him so you can hear both sides." The cop goes. "Sir, do you want a court summons?"

The dude shuts up, the cop warns him that if he has to come back tonight it will be a court summons. The guy turns his music down. I can still hear it, but it is at a level that I think is acceptable for an apartment complex (stuff isn't shaking, I can't hear every lyric, just the occasional high pitched note or bass section). So that was that, there was no further escalation and I was done with my assholes for the night.


OR WAS I?


===STORY 2: Drunken Mean As Hell Patient===

Not five minutes after the guy turned his music down I got a text from my friend Candace asking me to take her to the ER, because she hurt her already broken finger by accidentally slamming it in a door. We get her in and she's at a 10 on the pain scale, so she's crying, as you would expect.

Well to get her mind off the pain, I tell her about the dude from story 1, when the guy across the way from us behind a curtain takes offense at my description of him being "drunk and middle-aged". He tells me to fuck off. I laugh, and he laughs. I figure he's just joking around. And here's the thing, we were all laughing. We figured, hey the dude's trying in his own somewhat crass way to be silly. I could deal with that.

But then when Candace explains why she's in to the doctor, the dude goes:

"Seriously? You came to the hospital because your finger hurt?"

Candace, myself and the other girl with us Kristin were appalled. Candace said "That's really rude, I broke my finger."

I told her "Ignore him, it sounds like karma is taking care of him as we speak" (the man was literally groaning in agonizing pain between insults. If he hadn't been insulting my friend, I would have felt really bad for the guy.)

More swapping of insults occurs, Kristin about ready to beat the guy's ass, me trying to calm everybody (on our side of the curtain) down while making sharp comments about my hopes that the doctor has to jam a needle into his penis.

A doctor shows up after this and asks her how she did this. She explains she slammed it in a bathroom door.

Douchebag says: "Don't do that again."

Then later the doctor asks him what brought him in:

"I jumped off a 30 foot rock and broke my leg."

My reply:

"Don't do that again."

We finally asked to be moved, and he became the subject of our abuse the rest of the night. The good news is Candace is doing much better now.
_________________
Support me on Patreon!

Rest in peace, old avatar.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
EverPhoenix
Level 19: Soul Blazer
Rank: Resident

Resident


Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 4183
Gems 8,804
Location: Behind a screen

PostEverPhoenix Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:57 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

Reply with quote
Some amusing stories, seems like you came out on top in both cases. Shame some people can be douches like that though.

And for my first 4th of July in America, it was a pleasant experience. The park nearby my apartment was completely packed for the fireworks, and since I wasn't there all day all I got to do was watch from the edge of it. Still got a full view though.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
geekgirl101
Level 3: Cadet

Level 3: Cadet


Joined: 15 Jul 2013
Posts: 35
Gems 110

Postgeekgirl101 Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:54 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

Reply with quote
Wow, sounds like you had it bad there. Amazed that cops actually deal with loud music where you live though. Back several years ago we had some new neighbours move in our apartment. We didn't mind that they wanted to celebrate moving in, so the first night of loud music we tried to ignore and sleep through.

A few weeks later the music was at full volume again, this time you could hear it 4 rooms away. It was 2am and we had enough. Tony needed to be up for work the next morning and he was not able to sleep in the living room. I was trying to sleep on the floor and the noise and discomfort wasn't helping. I eventually got on the phone and walked into the bedroom so that the police could hear just how loud it was, but they said it was a domestic problem and they couldn't intervene. I even tried banging on their door but they either couldn't hear it from the volume of the music or didn't want to. There was cigarette smoke billowing out of their apartment that the air was toxic and just 1 min of me outside the door was all I could take before I rushed into my own apartment gasping for air.

Next morning I called my estate agent complaining about the loud music. I dunno what else happened after that but a week later the apartment was empty and back up for sale.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    TerraEarth Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum