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Jason Tandro
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PostJason Tandro Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:50 pm   Post subject: Kingdom Smarts Reply with quote

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I wrote this a while ago but don't think I ever posted it here. Enjoy:


Kingdom Smarts: A TerraEarth Fanfiction.


Introduction

Kingdom Smarts is probably the biggest endeavor I have attempted to date, and Lord of The Ringtones/ Final Fananfiction VII aren’t going to be too hot either, but I love to do this to practice my writing and (since I can only visit on the weekends) it makes me feel like I’m still a major member. But alas this old veteran will have to throw in the towel soon, with college starting, so I’ll make this last year my biggest one yet. I know that you all are like “Yeah, right Jason. You always bounce back.” and I probably will, but if not, at least you have a little piece of me. Okay, enough corny touchy feely teary crap, on with the show.

For those of you who don’t know (i.e. Newbies) I have been writing fanfictions and parody songs based on TE since my inception (starting out with the popular TerraEarthian Rhapsody and the wildly successful TerraEarth: Adventures, which I am now making a three-part movie based on).

Kingdom Hearts, the awarding winning game by Disney and Square-Enix include final fantasy characters and gameplay in the Disney Universe, each of their more popular stories being taken into account. I know Raini has the hots for Cloud and Leon, and I for Yuffie, so it’s all good.

Now instead of focusing on one “brand” of ideas, I have created a variety of worlds. So I will sort of give you a demi-outline right now. It won’t spoil the plot any, so don’t worry.


3-Mile Islands- Destiny Islands
Terra Earth- Traverse Town
The World (.hack//SIGN)  Wonderland
Fun City Coliseum (Star Ocean: The Second Story)  Hercules Coliseum
Mushroom Kingdom (Mario Brothers)  Deep Jungle
Kyoto (Ruruoni Kenshin)  Agrabah
Gnosis (Xenosaga: Episode I)  Monstro
Hyrule (Zelda)  Atlantica
// The next two transitions actually make sense!
Halloween Springfield (Simpsons)  Halloween Town
Space Colony ARK (Sonic Adventure 2)  Neverland
// end make-sense
Ultimecia’s Castle (Final Fantasy VIII)  Hollow Bastion
End of the Story  End of the World

So without further stalling for time, I proudly present, Kingdom Smarts!

Act One


Chapter I:
3-Mile Islands


It was another mild, predictable day at 3-Mile Islands. The sun was rising, birds were chirping and Freedan was griping.

“It’s so boring,” Freedan complained.
“Only to those who are lazy and not working one the raft,” Raini said smiling and throwing a log at him.

Axe walked up to the two of them, obviously overloaded on materials, but with his massive size, it didn’t seem to bother him.

“You’re just as lazy as he is, Raini,” Axe said.
“Aw.. you noticed,” Raini said, walking by.
“Freedan, you’re stalling at the finish line, as usual,” Axe smiled.
“What’s that mean?” Freedan asked.
“Nothing, Freed’. I just think you show a little more pride in your work,” Axe said.
“Well, I’ll show you. I’ll go randomly fight with everybody else on this island!” Freedan smirked.
“While you’re showing off your testosterone, why don’t you gather the few supplies we still need? We need a rope, some cloth for a sail and two logs,” Raini said. She shrugged her shoulders and went to wait for her next cue to prance around wearing a dopey grin on her face. It’s called foreshadowing. Did you catch that?


Freedan only walked about three yards before his first encounter. Joan snuck up on him and began attacking with her crossbow. She let off one arrow which grazed by Freedan’s ear. He drew his sword and countered her second strike.

“You’re getting better,” Freedan complimented, as they were stuck in a weapon deadlock.
“Yeah. You too,” Joan said.
“You can’t beat me,” Freedan smirked, gaining ground on his opponent.
“Really, well I saw Raini in a bikini the other day. She was sunbathing,” Joan smiled.
Freedan turned red, but didn’t let his guard down. “And then she asked me, since you weren’t around, if I could rub some lotion on her shoulders and back and-“
“ENOUGH!” Freedan shouted. “No fair!”
“I don’t play by the rules. By the way, I heard you need a rope for your raft. I happen to have plenty on me,” Joan said.
“Yeah, you would,” Freedan grimaced. Joan climbed up a tree, her bushy tail wagging behind her to help keep balance. She burrowed into a small hole and began throwing out a wide variety of leather outfits and spikes, until she exclaimed “Aha!” and jumped down from the hole.
“Here it is. 15 footer, ½ inch thick. Perfect for wrists, legs-“
“And sails I hope,” Freedan said.
“Oh! A sail! I thought you and Raini were gonna play ‘Pirates’.” Joan smirked.
And while the image of Raini tied to the mast did come across Freedan’s mind, he shook it off and went to look for his next opponent.


He came across his next opponent moments later as Dtails showed up.
“Come on, fight me!” Dtails shouted.
“Sorry, there are laws against newbie abuse,” Freedan smiled.
“Oh yeah! Well you just can’t take my heat, that’s all,” Dtails shouted. “You forfeit and I win!”
“Really?” Freedan asked. “I’ll wager my sword against two of your logs.”
“A bet? Sure! Why not!” Dtails shouted as he leaped into the air waving his staff. He shot down a huge ball of ice at Freedan’s location.
“Too simple,” Freedan grinned as he leapt out of the way.
Freedan lifted up his sword and cracked the large icicle into shards with his Dark Friar and then forced them into the air.
Dtails thought swiftly and cast a fire spell to melt all the shards.
Dtails then beat his staff against the tree and began a complex incantation.
“Orion, King of the Sun and commander of the mighty flame: I call upon you most deadly servant to destroy those standing before me. Using my holy powers as a catalyst, burn all the wicked in the fire of judgement! I summon you, Ifrit!”
Before Freedan knew what hit him, A large red beast with razor-sharp claws and metallic horns stood before him. The entire forest was burning.
“Crush him!” Dtails shouted.
Ifrit pounded his fist into the ground and sent Freedan flying back.
“I’ve only got one chance, but I’m not much of a summoner,” Freedan thought. He smashed his sword into the ground and two barriers surrounded Freedan. He then began to summon: “Rhea, goddess of the sea, and bringer of life: Let those who know of thy might tremble and bring about the wake of destruction. With divine respect for your wisdom, I summon you: Leviathan!”
Indeed, Freedan was not the most potent summoner, but he managed to correctly remember this incantation, which sent a large wave of water rushing through the forest, causing Ifrit to disappear.
After the wave cleared, Freedan walked up to Dtails and held out his hand. Dtail tapped his staff on the ground and two logs appeared out of nowhere and landed in Freedan’s hands. Dtails then walked off, discouraged.


His final opponent showed himself at the docks. It was Ocool. And as you may have guessed, he was folding clothes. Do you get that foreshadowing now? I bet you do. Yeah, you do.

“Ocool, could I borrow a sheet?” Freedan asked.

“What for?” Ocool asked. “You and Raini working on that raft of yours?”

“Yeah, actually,” Freedan replied.

“Oh, okay then. Well I would, except for I already gave a sheet to Axe,” Ocool said.

“Damn it! He beat me to it?” Freedan complained.

“Yeah. Hey wanna blow off some steam?” Ocool asked, lifting his sword.

“Sure,” Freedan said.

Ocool jumped into the air and slashed down producing a huge gust of wind that almost knocked Freedan off his feet. Freedan retorted with his Dark Friar technique, which just barely missed Ocool and burnt a pair of his pants on the clothesline.

“Hey! I was just finished washing those!” Ocool shouted.

“Well, I dried them for you!” Freedan shouted.

Ocool grunted and then threw his sword at Freedan. Freedan casually blocked it with his sword, but then was hit from behind by Ocool’s fist. Freedan rubbed the back of his head.

“New technique?” Freedan asked.

“Yeah. Ever since our last match. I’ve been saving that one for you,” Ocool grinned.

“Well I have one too,” Freedan shouted as he leapt into the air. He smashed his sword down into the ground with incredible force and shook the entire earth. Ocool was knocked off his guard and fell against a tree.

“Earthquaker. Like it?” Freedan asked.

“It’s very you,” Ocool grudgingly admitted, knowing he had lost the match.



Freedan walked down the beach and saw that the raft sail had been laid out for him to fix with the logs and rope. Axe was leaning against the raft’s mast and Raini was sitting in the sand next to the sail.

“Freedan, you finally showed up,” Axe said.

“It’s easy to be in first place when you’re doing less work,” Freedan retorted with a scowl on his face.
“Are you two fighting over me?” Raini asked.

The two men turned red, and Axe shyly admitted: “Well, yeah.”

Too their mutual surprise, Raini let out a whoop of victory and replied. “Alright! Let’s see something then. The victor gets to be the pirate that kidnaps me!”

Axe and Freedan suddenly became very active, tearing into each other with powerful blows. Raini sat down on a beach chair and picked up a magazine.

“Ah, boys. Just like training animals,” Raini smiled to herself.

Suddenly a large black cloud appeared out of nowhere. It began to rain fiercely and winds tore through trees.

“Please tell me that one of you two is doing this!” Raini shouted to the men, who were so caught up in their sex-driven battle that they didn’t know what was happening.

The huge wave hit them all. Axe fled with Raini, but Freedan was too weak to move. A large black being towered over him. Suddenly a light shone from the creature’s chest. Out of it flew a large key.

A voice whispered out in the wind…

Keyblade.. Keyblade.

Freedan picked up the key and struck the monster with it. It let out a large yelp of pain and smashed its fist into the ground. Freedan used his Dark Friar ability and it worked twice as well, letting out gigantic explosions as it ripped a path across the beach. The monster exploded into several black orbs that began to chase Freedan. Freedan leapt out of the way of most of them, but the last one hit him square in the back. Suddenly he heard a shout from the dock.

“Summon Typhon!” Raini shouted. Out of nowhere a small purple orb with hands appeared. It enclosed all the black orbs in a glass case and imploded upon itself.

Axe leapt over Freedan’s body and drew his sword.

“Freedan, get going! Protect Raini!” Axe shouted.

“Go where?!” Freedan asked.

A small wave of black orbs were gathering and preparing to attack Axe.

“Anywhere but here!” Axe yelled, as he fended off the orbs.

Freedan knew nothing he could say would change Axe’s mind, so he picked up the wounded Raini and carried her to the cave in the back of the island. Most of the villagers had huddled up in the cave already. Freedan ran to the back expecting a medical crew to be setting up shop in the cavern’s main clearing, but apparently they had not arrived yet, and the only ones in the back were Raini and Freedan.

“Raini, you rest here! I’m going to go give Axe a hand,” Freedan said, albeit pointlessly as she had passed out from both her wound and the effort that it took to summon Typhon.

Freedan rushed out towards the exit and told a white mage to look after Raini. Freedan arrived back on the beach just as Axe was about to be overpowered by the swarm of black orbs. Freedan dare not use his Dark Friar, because it might hit Axe and so he was forced to engage the enemy in close range.

Axe pushed off a particularly large black orb and grinned at Freedan. “Good to have you back, I was getting worried. Is Raini safe?”

“Yeah, I got her a medic, she’ll be fine,” Freedan said.

The black orbs were now once again forming a large monster with powerful claws. It was carrying a mace that looked large enough to rend a formidable crater in the island.

“Know any good spells?” Axe asked.

“Only one or two. And I don’t think it’d do much,” Freedan said.

“Where’d you get that new weapon?” Axe asked, now noticing Freedan’s keyblade.

“It came from one of these guys. It seems to work pretty well against them too,” Freedan said.

The monster was now fully formed and ready to attack.

“Here goes nothing,” Axe shouted. “I’ve got a plan, try to buy me some time.”

Freedan blasted the monster and held him back with his Dark Friar. This worked to great effect and gave Axe time to start his summoning. Although Freedan could not hear the incantation, he knew whatever it was must be powerful, because the summoning was taking him forever.

“Orion, god of the sun and master of the divine flame, Rhea, goddess of the sea and master of life, Draco, dragon god and master of the heart: I require your aid. Join forces and become the one great entity that you once were. From the dawn of time, unite your forces and become the great dragon of doom. I summon you, Bahamut!” Axe shouted.


There was a loud deafening shriek and a large winged beast soared over the island. The dragon shrieked once again and began to build energy. A large fireball was forming at the tip of its fangs. It then fired this large fireball at the monster which exploded.


Axe collapsed. Freedan looked around, the island had been devastated.

“Axe, where did you learn that great sum-“ Freedan stopped as he noticed Axe laying on his back in the sand, unconscious. Freedan would have rushed over to him were it not for the gloved hand that tapped his shoulder.

Freedan turned to see a man in complete black. He had a large cloak over his black military style suit. He had a barely visible goatee and carried a staff.

“Who are you?” Freedan asked.

“A friend,” he smiled. Freedan felt himself fall back from a spell that the man had hidden. Freedan stood up and lifted his sword.

“Is this your doing?” Freedan shouted.

“What of it?” He grinned.

He then let a large fireball explode in his hand, and the world turned black.


Chapter II: Terra Earth

Blade walked down the corridors of the Tower of Babel, humming to himself. He knocked on the door to the throne room. There was no response.

Blade knocked again. No response. Blade drew his sword and burst into the throne room. The only person there was a little dog. His collar read: Vard Yakuly.

In his mouth was a note, and a stick of dynamite. Blade took the note, and left the dynamite.

Blade, DPit:
I am sorry for leaving you, but I have to figure this one out.
Stars have been popping out one after the other. There will
be a person coming, he has a key. A key to our survival. I
will seek out eFlare and his lost report. Only he has studied
the Brainless long enough. Take care of the keymaster.

King Boxxleman


There was an explosion and a loud yelp. Small robots appeared out of nowhere and cleaned up the dog’s remains. Blade continued reading as if he had just seen a mildly interesting trailer.


PS: Leave the dynamite in the dogs mouth.

PSS: Take the Gooey-Browser and surf the Internet.


Blade ran out of the throne room and into the Babel courtyard, where DeathPit was reclining, taking a summer nap.

“Wake up Deathpit! Wake up! This is serious!” Blade shouted. DPit continued his nap, and Blade lifted his hand in the air and shouted. “Thunderbolt!”

DPit jumped out of the way of the bolt. “Alright! Damn! What is it!”

Blade recounted the details of the letter and what it implicated upon them.

“So we have to take the Gooey-Ship and browse the internet?” DPit asked.

“Yes, that’s a great analysis,” Blade said.



Blade and Deathpit walked down to the hangar bay in the Tower of Babel, where their Gooey-Ship lie in wait. The fantastic Red Riotz was looking better than ever.

A short man in pilot gear greeted them as they entered.

“:How are you all doing this fine afternoon?” He asked.

“Fine, Ratchet. Is our ship ready?” Blade asked.

“That depends. How goes the repairs, Clank?” Ratchet asked.

“They are progressing adequately,” Clank said.

“How adequate is adequate?” DPit asked.

“You’ll be ready for departure in three minutes,” Clank replied.

Sure enough after exactly two minutes and fifty-nine seconds, Blade and Deathpit were in the Gooey-Ship and ready to depart for TerraEarth.



Freedan’s head was ringing, and nobody was picking it up. He felt himself lying on cold brick; a street? He lifted himself up, but all he could conclusively deduce was that he wasn’t dead and that he wasn’t on 3-Mile Islands.

He looked around him, and found only his keyblade, which was laying a few feet from his location. As he picked it up, his scar began to burn… oh, wait. Wrong book. Ignore that. [Author’s Note: That’s a crack at Harry Potter].

Freedan wandered out of the alley into the main part of the city. He saw a large street sign that read “Euro: Not related at all with Europe, except the Netherlands, because they rock.”

A voice came out of nowhere from behind Freedan: “You go flashing that sword around and they’ll find you in no time.”

Freedan turned around quickly to see a young man carrying a large sword . He wore a black combat suit and had an eye-patch over his right eye. His hair was dark brown and disheveled as if the man had just come from combat.

“Who are you?” Freedan asked.

“My name is Aoiga,” the man said. “And I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to drop that keyblade.”

Freedan didn’t know who the man was, but he wasn’t about to let go of his only weapon. “Come and get it.”

“If you wish,” Aoiga shouted, as he leaped at Freedan.

Aoiga lifted his sword and struck down on Freedan, who countered with his keybkade. The two swords met with spark-flying force. The street was now drowned in panic at the sounds of the two men fighting.

Freedan jumped back to break the deadlock and cast a quick vanishing charm. He needed enough time to cast a summon.

“You can’t hide forever,” Aoiga said, as he aimed his hand for a Dispel jinx.

Freedan knew that some spells could be cast nonverbally, but not summons. So in his lowest whisper he began to summon: “Etheria, Goddess of the neverrealm and purifier of tormented souls: I ask you to unleash your fiercest judgement on those who stand before me. Through my guidance, I summon you, Ramuih!”

A loud crash of thunder echoed through the city streets and a demonic figure with a staff stood in the center of the square. He lunged his staff at Aoiga and lighting struck his blade, but managed to miss Aoiga completely.

“A summon spell, eh? I would expect no less from the keyblade master.” Aoiga said. “Dispel!”

The jinx hit Freedan square in the chest and his vanishing charm wore off.

“Let me show you what the big boys do,” Aoiga said. He raised his hand into the air. “Flare!”

A loud crash of lighning, and then nothing. Freedan passed out from the tremor and the world was once again, engulfed in darkness.


Deathpit and Blade ran down the street towards the grand hotel. Panting, Deathpit tried to explain what he had heard.

“I could have sworn it was a summon creature, coming from this part of town!” Deathpit shouted.

“If you’re wrong and we’ve wasted time for nothing, I swear you are going to get it!” Blade shouted.

“I’m not wrong, dammit! I know it was something big. It sounded like Ramuh, or Leviathan,” Deathpit shouted.
A woman stood in their path. She had short blue hair with purple highlights and was wearing a black robe and witches hat.

“Hello boys. The name’s Fixating Enchantress, but you can call me Fixy,” she said grinning wickedly.

“Was it you who cast that summon spell a while ago?” Blade asked.

“It wasn’t me. But it was the person who you are looking for,” Fixy said.

“How do you know?” Deathpit asked.

“You were sent here by King Boxxle, right? To find the keyblade master?” Fixy asked.

“Yes,” Blade said.

“We were too. I want to make sure you are the Descendents,” Fixy said. She suddenly leapt into the air and flashed her wand. “Fira!”

A large beam of fire swept towards Blade. He quickly shouted: “Blizzara!” and countered the spell.

Fixy jumped down from the rooftop and smiled. “You pass. Come on. I’ll show you where he went.”



Freedan woke up in a small room. He was surrounded by four strange people. They were only silhouettes in the darkness.

“This is the keyblade master?” Fixy asked.

“Hmm, I wonder. He didn’t seem to tolerate my Flare spell to well,” Aoiga said.

“If the keyblade chose him then that means he must be the keyblade master. Nuff said,” Deathpit pondered.

“Hey, are you alright?” Blade asked.

Freedan rubbed his head. “Well no, actually. I get blasted from my home world after these weird black dots invade, I land here and get knocked out by Captain Patchy! How the hell do you think I feel?”

“Pretty pissed off,” Fixy sighed. “Was that really necessary, Aoiga?”

“I wanted to make sure he was the keyblade master. Besides, if I didn’t get that thing away from him then it would have led the Brainless to our hideout,” Aoiga replied.

“The Brainless?” Freedan asked.

“They are those monsters who attacked your home. Don’t worry, nobody blames you or anything,” Blade replied.

“What happened to Axe and Raini?” Freedan asked with a look of panic in his eyes.

“Well, sometimes stragglers do wind up. Maybe they got blasted here, or to another planet,” Deathpit commented.

“We have to search the city!” Freedan shouted. He rushed out the door.

“Wait!” Fixy shouted.

“We have to go after him!” Deathpit yelled.



Freedan had made it to the third district, but had not seen any sing of his friends. He hadn’t seen any sign either and that typo was intentioninal. Intentional. Shut up.

Suddenly a large black armored beast dropped from a rooftop. Freedan lifted the keyblade. As the monsters fierce claw tore down Freedan, a voice echoed over the city: “Firaga!”

A huge fireball blasted the beast in the torso and Blade and Deathpit ran up from behind Freedan.

“You guys here to help?” Freedan asked.

“We have a lot of talking to do,” Blade said.

“Not now!” Deathpit shouted. “We have scorched the snake, not killed it [Authors Note: From Macbeth].”

The monster smashed its mighty foot down, but all three warriors managed to avoid it. Freedan smashed the helmet of the beast with his keyblade. Deathpit fired a round from his gun which tore off the monsters legs, and Blade smashed through the beasts arms with his sword.

“Now, finish it off!” Blade shouted.


From a force not of their own will, but of subconscious thought, they joined minds. A fierce wind blew through the town. The monsters torso began to disintegrate. Then a voice cried from above: “Trinity!”

A white light smashed through the monster and destroyed what remained. The wind stopped.



“So you want me to help you look for you king?” Freedan asked.

“Yes, I feel this is the reason we were set to this task,” Deathpit said.

“After what we just did, I do not believe the king merely intended for us to be your escorts,” Blade said.

“Besides, you can look for your friends that way,” Fixy said.

“How are we going to get to other worlds?” Freedan asked.

“In our Gooey-Ship, of course,” Deathpit said. “It’s called Red Riotz. Hope you like it.”

“The Brainless will pursue you as long as you hold the keyblade,” Aoiga said. “ They aren’t just here and on your world. They are everywhere. You also need to find eFlare. He has studied the Brainless and will be able to help you to understand their nature. He wrote everything down in a detailed report.”

“Hey guys, I found something else out,” Deathpit said, pulling out the note from Boxxle. “He said we should ‘seal the keyholes’ or something like that.”

“When did he say that?” Blade asked.

“Just now,” Deathpit replied with an odd look on his face. The room grew awkwardly quiet.

Chapter III: The World

Freedan was standing in front of the Chaos Gate, his head swimming with the series of events that had led him up to this point. It all began almost two hours ago. He, Deathpit and Blade were on the Gooey-ship, Red Riotz, investigating a bizarre planet.

“This really is weird,” Deathpit said. “The entire world appears to support only one room. Is it worth landing?”

“It’s our only option. Let’s do it,” Freedan said.

They beamed down to the planet’s surface, which was a small room with a computer in it. There were three visors and controllers all hooked up to a computer screen which read: THE WORLD.

“A network, perhaps. Let’s go,” Blade said as they put on the visors.

Suddenly they felt their bodies grow heavy. Freedan carried a sword that was shaped like a key, but somehow not his keyblade. Deathpit was now rather bulky and wearing green armor and carrying an axe, and Blade was dressed in a blue robe and carried a long white staff.

“What in the world?” Freedan asked.

They were in the middle of a town. A river ran through the middle with a bridge built over it. The buildings were all old Victorian style dwellings made of brick and painted appropriately.

“Where are we?” Blade asked.

“Oh, you must be newbies,” came a woman’s voice from behind them. They turned to see a young brown-haired woman clad in a red chest plate and leg armor. “Hi there, I’m Mimiru, welcome to The World.”

“The World?” Freedan asked.

Mimiru looked taken aback. “Yeah, the online game you just logged on to. This is the root town and-“ Mimiru looked at Freedan’s sword. “Ah, so you know more than I thought. That’s an illegal item, buddy. Better not let the Crimson Knights catch you with it.”

“Hey, Mimiru!” came a loud man’s voice.

Mimiru waved behind her to a man with a brown slick of hair. He had blue paint covering half of his chest and face, and wore leg armor. They both were now carrying large swords.
“This is Bear,” Mimiru chuckled. “And these are…”

“Freedan,” Freedan replied. “And this is Blade and Deathpit.”

“Wow, you guys look pretty powerful,” Bear smiled.

“You look strange,” Mimiru commented. “I’ve never seen character models like these before.”

Suddenly four men in silver armor began to walk over the bridge. “Hey you! Stop there!”

“Crap! The Crimson Knights! Come on, we have to go!” Mimiru said pulling Freedan by his hands towards a blue circle in the center of town.

“What is this?” Freedan asked.

“The Chaos Gate, what does it look like?” Mimiru shouted. “This better be the right keyword. Delta Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground!”

They five of them were covered in a golden light and the world went black. They appeared in front of a small chapel. Mimiru let out a sigh of relief.

“Whew, I don’t think they followed us. You could get in a lot of trouble flashing a weapon like that!” Mimiru shouted.

“You sound like your talking to Tsukasa,” Bear smiled.

“Well he’s pretty much the same person if you ask me! Bold, overconfident, and rude,” Mimiru sighed.

“Rude?” Freedan asked.

“I was generalizing on that last point, blockhead,” Mimiru grunted.

“Hi, kiddies!” Came a shrill man’s voice.

“And it gets better,” Mimiru cursed, now slumping her shoulders.

A man in a black ninja suit carrying two short swords leapt down from the chapel. He had long green hair, part of which was kept back by a red bandana, but two thin threads cascaded down the front. He wore a mischievous smile than forebode annoyance.

“Sora, what are you doing here?” Mimiru asked.

“I was spying on the lovebirds in the chapel,” Sora smiled.
“You mean Tsukasa and Subaru?” Bear asked.

“Yes. I thought she was hot for Crim, but the times they are a changin’,”Sora smiled less than amicably.

They walked into the chapel, where Subaru and Tsukasa sat holding hands. Subaru was a beautiful young woman with short blue hair. She wore a half-blouse and long skirt, both of which were blue and she had a strange symbol on her forehead. Tsukasa was a much darker individual. He had short white hair and was dressed in a brown robe.

“Oh isn’t this just precious,” Sora smiled. “Tsukasa, my man, you really think you can handle her all by your lonesome? And Subaru, shame shame. What would Crim think?”

“What are you all doing here?” Subaru asked, growing slightly red.

“Well we were running from the Crimson Knights, and we sort of came here. Call it desperation,” Mimiru said.

“I’ll call it intrusion. What with the Silver Knight gone missing and Crim being away for so long. It’s like we’re falling apart. And Tsukasa still can’t log out,” Subaru sighed.

“He can’t log out?” Freedan asked.

“Yeah, it’s really weird. Even if he couldn’t manually log out he could always reset the terminal. It’s like he’s trapped,” Mimiru sighed. “We don’t even know who he is. On the outside, he could be a boy, a girl, anything. We just don’t know.”

“That’s different,” Blade thought.

“I found something which might be able to help though,” Bear said. “It’s why I was coming this way.”

“You can help me?” Tsukasa asked.

“Yes. If this works, you might be able to log out,” Bear said.

Tsukasa lifted his wand. A large golden dumbbell appeared above him. “I don’t know if I want to log out.”

“That’s crazy!” Mimiru shouted.

“In this world, I can do whatever I feel like. I don’t care what it is you have to show me, I won’t go,” Tsukasa said. He and the Guardian disappeared.

“He Gated Out,” Subaru sighed. “Trying to find him is like trying to locate a lone breeze.”

“Well, we may as well go ourselves. At least we can find out more about it, and whether or not it will help Tsukasa,” Bear suggested.

“I’m always up for adventure,” Sora grinned. “But don’t you think you should call that old lady you always hang out with.”

“BT is not old. She’s just like me, in our prime. Youngsters like you overvalue your youth and waste it,” Bear smiled.

“Whatever,” Sora smiled.

Suddenly a woman in a red dress with long blond hair showed up. “Thinking of leaving me out?”

“We’d never do that, BT,” Sora smirked.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” BT scowled. “So what is it this time, Bear?”

“Just more interesting keywords. But these can only be accessed from a special Chaos Gate that Helba is going to set up for us,” Bear smiled. [Author’s Note: Yes, I know. By the time Bear found Helba, The Crimson Knights had disbanded. I just needed something to get them this far, so I relied on them.]

“So where is this Chaos Gate?” Deathpit asked.

“Right here, another coincidence,” Bear sighed.

Suddenly a strange green chaos gate appeared in the center of the chapel. A voice rang out over the chapel: “Accessing Theta Chosen Hopeless Nothingness.”

The entire chapel burst into white light. They found themselves in a dark cave.

“Ugh. This must be the dungeon. How boring,” Sora sighed.

“Why would we transport straight into the dungeon?” Subaru asked.

“I’m guessing the answer has something to do with Helba,” Bear thought. “Let’s just see where it leads. Um,” Bear looked over at Freedan, Deathpit and Blade. “Are you sure you want to come? You don’t have to.”

“I’m curious now more than anything,” Freedan said.

Suddenly three lights appeared beside them. From the point of the lights fell a knight in silver armor, a man in red clothes with spiky blue hair and Tsukasa.

“I guess Helba didn’t let anybody get away,” Mimiru chuckled. “Welcome back Tsukasa.”

“Crim!” Subaru cried.

She ran over to the man in red clothes and helped him up. He was covered in scars.

“Helba actually did me a favor. I was in the middle of a fight I had no hope of winning,” Crim sighed. He began to cough blood.

“Crim!” Subaru shouted. She raised her hands over him. “Pha Repth!”

Before their eyes Crims wounds disappeared. Suddenly, a large beast bashed its way into the dungeon room. It was a large grey monster carrying a red wand. A voice came over the dungeon again: “Engaging Phase 1: Skeith”.

“Silver Knight!” Crim shouted. “I know we have had our differences in the past, so you go first.”

“Very funny, knave!” Silver Knight shouted.

However Skeith did not try to attack any of the members of their party, but went straight for Tsukasa. Tsukasa’s Guardian appeared also, and attacked him from the other side.

“No!” shouted Freedan. He raised up his keyblade. “You all distract him for a while, I’ll take him down.”

“What?!” BT shouted.

“Just trust me!” Freedan called.

Sora was the first to comply. He rushed straight at the monster and smashed into his wand with his twin swords. Silver Knight and Crim attacked from the monsters left flank. Bear, Mimiru and Tsukasa worked on holding off the guardian. Subaru, Deathpit and Blade cast spells from the rear.

“This is teamwork!” Freedan smiled. “Better finish it all now!”

He raised up his keyblade and began to summon: “Rhea, goddess of water and protector of life: Show harsh judgment upon those who seek to undo the natural order. Break down my enemies to their purest, stillest form and bath them in eternal frost! I summon you, Shiva!”

A woman in blue appeared in the middle of the room, and wind poured in from all directions. By the time the gusts had stopped, the guardian and Skeith were frozen solid.

“Did we do it?” Subaru asked.

“Not quite,” Tsukasa sighed. “I still can’t log out.”

“So you really wanted to?” Mimiru asked.

“No, but it seemed a poor way to repay you not to try,” Tsukasa said.

Suddenly Skeith began to move again. Only this time he turned deep black and large orbs began to flow off him.

“It’s the Brainless!” Deathpit shouted.

“So that’s what’s controlling the monsters!” Blade realized.

“And maybe that’s what’s preventing Tsukasa from logging out,” Freedan said. “Let’s try it.”

Skeith’s wand burst into flames and he flew across the room, this time targeting Freedan specifically. Freedan blocked most of the monsters attacks, but he was much slower than he was in the real world.

Blade jumped back from the battlefield and began to cast spells. Even his fiercest spells did minimal damage to the monster. Freedan smashed the monster with his keyblade and shouted: “Dark Friar!” The bursting attack only scratched the beast.

“How do we damage him?!” Freedan shouted.

Suddenly the beast shrieked in pain as he was hit in the back with a sword. Skeith fell over. Standing on his back was a man in Silver Armor carrying a silver sword. He had broad white wings and long white hair.

“It’s Balmung!” Mimiru shouted.

The black armor around Skeith was now gone.

“Come, we must finish him as he is!” Balmung shouted.

Freedan lifted his keyblade and shouted: “Dark Friar!” A huge beam of fire flew from his keyblade and split through Skeith.

“Gating out,” came a voice.

The party appeared back in the root town.

“Huh? What happened?” Mimiru asked.

“Freedan, you know what to do,” Blade said.

“Right,” Freedan replied, walking up to the Chaos Gate. This was it. His mind swimming with what he had just experienced, he lifted his keyblade. In the center of the Chaos Gate there appeared a black keyhole. A small light beamed from his keyblade and a locking sound was heard.

“You know that is an illegal item!” Scowled Silver Knight.

“Oh cram it, old man!” Mimiru shouted.

“I guess we better get going then,” Freedan said.

“You mean you won’t be coming back?” Bear asked.

“Oh, we’ll miss you. It was fun while it lasted,” Subaru said.

“Wait a minute, where is Tsukasa?” Sora asked.

“Probably ran off without saying goodbye again,” Crim sighed.

“No,” BT said. “It says player character Tsukasa has logged out.”



Chapter IV: Lacour Colleseum
[Authors Note: Closer To Star Ocean: EX than Star Ocean: The Second Story]

“So where do we go now?” Blade asked when they got back on Red Riotz.

They had changed back into their original forms, although Blade complained that he preferred his old one.

“Hmm,” Deathpit began scanning the area with his star map. “There is one planet 10 c’s from here, but it’ll take us a while.”

“What’s it look like?” Freedan asked.

“Low infestation level, high organic life. Planet Name: Expel,” Deathpit said. “Okay, I’m turning on the warp drive, we’ll be there in about Five hours.”

Deathpit punched the warp drive button, but nothing happened. He tried it again, and they heard a mild explosion in the rear.

“What happened?” Freedan asked.

Blade went back to investigate. They heard a cry from within: “Dammit!!!” It was a voice that Freedan recognized. He ran back to the engine room to find Joan laying on Blade.

“Joan! What are you doing here?” Freedan asked.

“Ugh! I got trapped on that boring planet and when I saw your ship I had to investigate,” Joan said. “So how’d you get here?”

“Sort of blown here from 3-Mile Islands. It’s a long story. Blade, what happened to our warp drive?” Freedan asked.

“Blown to bits by this fox,” Blade cursed. “It’ll take us two years to get to Expel now.”

“Ah contraire,” Joan smiled. “Aside from being a warrior I am also a master engineer.”

“We already have one. His name is Deathpit,” Blade replied.

“Well go get him, and we’ll have a look-see,” Joan commented as she opened the warp drive.

Freedan glanced over at Joan: “How do you know how to fix ships like this?”

“We had stuff just like it on the docks. I built a warp drive for my boat, remember?” Joan grinned.

“So that’s how you won the Millenial Race,” Freedan scowled with bitter memories of third place.



Two hours later…

“Okay, patched, and improved. We can probably make it to Expel in about two hours and forty-five minutes now,” Deathpit smiled. “Your really good at that.”

“Aw, pshah, I’ve been doing stuff like this for years,” Joan smiled. She wrapped her fuzzy arms around Freedans neck. “Let’s get going.”

Deathpit punched the warp drive and Red Riotz blasted through space. Two minutes later they gated out in front of a blue-green planet not un-similar to Earth.

“This must be Expel. Where should we beam to?” Blade asked.

“The highest infestation life is on a continent in the northwestern quadrant, but the highest organic reading is on a continent in the southeastern quadrant. The city name: Lacour. Apparently they are holding some sort of tournament,” Deathpit said.

“It’s your choice Freedan. Where do we head?” Blade asked.

“Let’s make sure the people are alright first. It’s not a good idea to just bolt into action,” Freedan said. “Hey, Joan. Can you watch the ship.”

Joan mock saluted and flashed her fangs: “Can do, Sir Freedan.”



Blade, Deathpit and Freedan found themselves in the middle of a library. The place was deserted except for an old, mean looking librarian. He was busy signing papers and mumbling to himself:

“Bah, humbug. Everybody else is wasting their time at that stupid Arms Tournament,” his eyes brightened at the sight of the three young men before him. “Ah! Some gents who actually believe that reading is far better than smashing your brains out!”

“That must be upstairs,” Deathpit thought. “Wrong coordinates.”

The three men rushed out and the librarian’s scowl grew deeper.

They walked out onto a coliseum full of people. A loudspeaker blasted out the words: “Welcome the 200th Annual Lacour Armors Tournament! This year will be featuring warriors from all over Expel!”
“No wonder we saw so much organic life here,” Freedan thought.

Suddenly a young girl ran into Blade. She had brown hair in a ponytail and was wearing a pink suit.

“Ow! Jeez, some people are so rude. How are you gonna just stand in the middle of a walkway,” she growled.

“Um, excuse me. Who are you?” Blade asked.

“The name’s Precis, not that it matters to you. Worlds greatest inventor. Now get outta my way, I have to go wish Claude good luck,” and with that Precis ran down the stairwell to the locker rooms.

“Shall we?” Deathpit asked.

“Follow her? Great strategy, Dpit. Let’s just follow the first person that runs into us,” Blade mocked.

“Worked last time,” Freedan said as he walked down the stairs.

The only people in the locker room were Precis, a young blonde man in a green outfit (who must’ve been Claude, because Precis was hanging on him), an older looking man with brown hair wearing a black robe with two dragon heads on his back, and a young girl with blue hair wearing a blue skirt and white blouse.

“Precis, leave Claude alone, he has to get ready for the match,” the blue-haired girl said.

“Oh shut up, Rena. You’re just jealous,” Precis said.

“Can’t we all just get along?” the dragon-bound man grinned.

“Thanks for trying Ashton,” Rena replied.

“Where’s Celine?” Claude asked.

“Just left a moment ago. Said she wanted to see what Dias was up to,” Ashton said.

At this time the group took notice of the three intruders.

“Who are you all?” Claude asked.

“That’s the jerk that ran into me!” Precis shouted pointing at Blade.

“Don’t you mean you ran into me?” Blade scowled.



It was a dark segment of corridor that Dias walked down. His blue hair cascading down his green cape, he stepped lightly, knowing the trap that awaited him. Two demons leapt out from behind the stone pillars. He tore them down with a mighty cry: “Kuhazan!”

A caped figure clapped his hands and walked out from behind the pillars. He had blonde hair in a ponytail and wore silver armor.

“I expected no less from Dias Flac,” he smiled.

“What does that mean?” Dias asked.

“Your reputation is fierce. You need help don’t you. Trying to find the bandit that killed your parents and sister?” the man asked.

“I do not work for demons, no matter what,” Dias replied lifting his sword.

“My terms are quite easy. There will be an unexpected entry in the competition. All you have to do is get rid of him. The name is Freedan,” he said.

“What proof do I have that you are telling the truth?” Dias asked.

“None whatsoever. But I am the only chance you have. Do this one favor for me and I can help your soul find peace in vengeance,” he said, disappearing.



Celine walked in the locker room. She had long silver hair and wore a white outfit that looked like a one-piece swimsuit. Deathpit couldn’t stop staring.

“I couldn’t find Dias anywhere. Maybe he left the tournament?” Celine suggested.

“He wouldn’t,” Claude said. “That’s the last thing he’d do.”

Celine gave an evil glance toward Deathpit: “If you can’t control your eyes I can simply remove them for you.”

Deathpit coughed lightly and turned his head the other way.

“Dias isn’t gonna leave because he want’s to wail on Claude,” Ashton thought. “He’s still here somewhere.”

A fanfare sounded outside. A loudspeaker announced: “First tournament match. Claude Kenni versus…”

The very room seemed to hold its breath.

“Hmmm…. this is very odd folks. Claude Kenni versus Freedan, The Dark Knight.”

Freedan gasped. “Wait a minute, how can that be?”

“You signed up, didn’t you?” Ashton replied.

“He’s just scared because he know my Claude is gonna win!” Precis smiled.

“He isn’t YOUR Claude,” Rena scowled.



The two warriors met each other on the battlefield.

“We just met each other a few minutes ago, but we’re already fighting. Funny isn’t it,” Claude thought.

“Good luck. I have no intention of losing,” Freedan said.

“Me neither,” Claude replied.

Claude started things off with a powerful leaping attack, which Freedan barely dodged. Freedan countered with a “Thundara” spell that knocked Claude of his feet.

In the stands, Precis cried: “What was that?”

“That wasn’t like any Heraldic spell I’ve ever seen before, and the incantation was so fast,” Celine thought.

“Be careful, Claude,” Rena thought.

“Your good,” Claude smiled. “I hope you like this attack.”

Claude lifted his sword high above his head. Wind seemed to gather around him. He slashed his sword down to the ground and shouted: “Kuhazan!”

A powerful blast met Freedan’s keyblade. He blocked it as best as he could, but it ended up knocking him back into a pillar. Freedan rubbed his head and got up. He knew he couldn’t summon, because Claude could simply use Kuhazan again and stop him. And his Dark Friar was too risky with this many people around. He needed another alternative. Then he remembered a trick he learned from Axe. He lifted his sword and shouted: “Flare Sword!” His sword glowed white and he slashed down on Claude, knocking him through the pillar and out of the ring.

The loudspeaker announced: “Winner: Freedan, The Dark Knight.”

Casually, Dias walked onto the battlefield.

“Next competitor, Dias Flac,” the loudspeaker announced.

Rena leapt over the barrier and began to cast curative magic on Claude. Dias took no notice of this and lifted his sword. Freedan knew in this instance that this was no game to him.

“Kuhazan!” Dias shouted.

Dias’ Kuhazan was far more powerful and Freedan hit the back of the barrier.

“Winner: Dias Flac!” The announcer shouted. But this didn’t stop Dias. He leapt out of the ring and rushed toward Freedan. Deathpit fired three rounds from his gun which stopped Dias in his tracks. Blade and Deathpit leaped over the barriers to aid their ally. But before they could make it, a large beast covered in black armor appeared in the center of the battlefield. It had long wings and sharp claws, your standard bad guy.

“To bad, Dias,” it shouted. “You couldn’t kill one man.”

The monster, Shin, flew down towards Freedan with his claws beared.

“Thunderbolt!” Celine shouted. This only stunned Shin, who turned and with one wave of his hand lit the entire stadium on fire.

“Damnit!” Freedan shouted.

“Give me some cover, I need to fix this problem,” Blade shouted.

Blade ran over to a far corner of the arena: “Aria, god of the wind and master of the divine light. Manifest yourself in the form of the gentle zephyr that tears whole continents in two. I summon you, Pandemona!”

A large beast appeared in the center of the arena and blew the fire out with its powerful wind attack. Just at this moment, a beam of white light shot from the top of the stadium. It hit Shin in the back and tore off his black armor. He flew off to the northwest.

Behind the gun was a young boy in a white lab coat with blue hair. “Yes! The Lacour Hope works!”




Freedan didn’t know how he got where he was, but an hour later he found himself on a ship heading towards the mysterious El continent. Leon was an inventor who had found some way to counter the onslaught of the Brainless. Blade, Deathpit, Freedan, Claude, Rena, Ashton, Celine, and Leon were now on a ship destined to the final fight (at least for this planet).

The goodbye at the dock with Precis was heartbreaking… for Ashton, and Dias refused to come, because he had felt that he was too weak. He had let himself succumb to darkness.

“The Sorcery Globe,” Leon said. “Is locked on. One blast from the Lacour Hope will destroy the Brainless leader.”

The Lacour Hope fired a round of white light, which did destroy a large portion of the monsters, but one powerful looking one flew straight towards the ship. It was Shin.

“Let’s finish it now,” Claude said, lifting his sword.

Shin blasted onto the ship with incredible force and instantly went for Freedan, who blocked his attacks with the keyblade.

Shin was hit in the back with a gust of ice from the dragon on Ashton’s back, followed by a blast of fire from the other. Shin slashed the boat down the center, which sent Celine and Ashton falling to the decks below. Shin then continued to attack Freedan.

Deathpit and Blade were knocked off balance by a sudden jerk in the boat, and Freedan fell back into the mast. All he could think to say was: “Kuhazan!”

The wind attack tore through Shin and his body disappeared. A large keyhole appeared in the center of Eluria Tower, where the Sorcery Globe shone through. Freedan lifted his keyblade and sealed the keyhole.

There was a great party at Lacour Castle. The Sorcery Globe had been beaten, and the inhabitants of Expel would no longer suffer from the monsters. After the party, Claude talked to Freedan.

“Can I come with you?” He asked.

“What?” Freedan asked.

“I know you’re from another planet. I’m from one called Earth. I’ve been trying to find a way home, but now that the Sorcery Globe is gone, I have no idea how to get home. You may be my last hope,” he said.

“You should stay here,” Freedan said. “What about Rena?”
“Rena?” Claude asked turning his head to look at the blue-haired girl.

“You should stay here, for her sake,” Freedan said.

Claude smiled slightly, nodded, and took a sip from his drink.

End of Act One

Act Two

Chapter V: The Mushroom Kingdom.


A dark room in the castle was lit only by a viewing table in the center. Around it sat the members of the Axis of Evil. Led the by sorceress Ultimecia, there was also the inventor Dr. Eggman, the billionaire galaxy owner Charles Montgomery Burns, the dark king Gannondorf, the warrior Makoto Shishio and the lizard king Bowser.

“That boy is proving to be a thorn in our sides,” Makoto said.

“I’ll smash him into tiny chunks if you want,” Bowser cackled.

“Don’t get hasty you fool. Did you not see what he did to Shin?” Gannordorf said.

“We should be focusing on the fact that he’s found two keyholes already,” Dr. Eggman cursed. “This wouldn’t have happened if you had let me deploy the Ark Cannon.”

“We can’t go wasting that, man. Think of the value. If we go wasting it on every star system that gets in our way, it’ll be worthless in no time,” Mr. Burns said.

“Bowser. I want you to stop him now. He is headed your way anyhow,” Ultimecia said. “Do not let him find the keyhole.”

“What about the Princess’s?” Gannondorf asked.

“We managed to capture one from underneath their noses,” Makoto said. “Right after Freedan left.”

Makoto gestured over to a golden cell, where Subaru lay unconscious.

“Is Rena a Princess then?” Bowser asked.

“No, she doesn’t have the proper spirit,” Mr. Burns replied. “We know Peach and Zelda are princess’.”

“I believe Kaoru has the proper essence as well, so that is four,” Makoto said.

“And Amy makes five,” Dr. Eggman said.

“And that other girl you were looking at, Rinoa?” Gannondorf asked Ultimecia.

“Even if she is, that only makes six. We still need to find that last one,” Ultimecia said.

“Hmm…Ultimecia, I believe I have an idea,” Mr. Burns said.

“What is it Monty?” Ultimecia asked.
“What about that girl who was with Freedan?” Mr. Burns asked.



“Where to now?” Joan asked.

“Eager to leave?” Blade smiled.

“I didn’t have much to keep me entertained up here you know. I just started firing rounds from the Red Riotz at asteroids,” Joan said. “Next time, I’m coming with you all.”

“Makes sense,” Deathpit said. “Okay, you can help me track down the next planet.”

Joan started scanning the stars for lifeforms. “Ah! Here we go. It’s really close, only about 5 c’s away.”

[Author’s Note: C conversion is an astronomical distance chart I partly made up and partly borrowed from astrophysics textbooks. 1 c = 1 lightyear to the 1 power (1 lightyear), 2 c’s = 2 lightyears to the 2 power (4 lightyears), 3 c’s = 3 lightyears to the 3 power (27 lightyears). In other words, this planet is 5 lightyears to the 5 power away or 3,125 lightyears away. The Red Riotz can travel 1,000 lightyears a second at maximum warp, thanks to Joan. Also, it should be noted that after 5 c’s, the conversion remains at 5 to the 6,7, and so on. For example a planet at 10 c’s (Expel) is 5 to the 10 power or 9,765,625 lightyears. ]

“Five second jump?” Blade asked. “That’s nice. Here we go!”

Deathpit hit the warp drive button, and no sooner than he had raised his wrist did they find themselves in front of a bright green planet.

“What is this place?” Joan asked.

“It’s called the Mushroom Kingdom by it’s inhabitants. Very high organic life readings,” Blade said.

“The infestation reading is high too,” Freedan said.

“Let’s go,” Deathpit said.

“Where do you think you’re goin’ buddy?” Joan said. “I said I’m going which means you have to stay here and watch the ship.”
“We’ll just leave the ship on Auto-Pilot,” Blade said.

Joan’s eyes grew dark. “It has an Auto-Pilot. You mean last time I was bored out of my skull for nothing!”



They beamed down after a mild ass-whooping session courtesy of Joan. They found themselves on an almost cartoonishly green planet. There were plants and pipes everywhere. A middle-aged man who stood no more than 5’4 walked up to them. He wore a red cap and blue overalls.

“Hey, what are you kids a-doing in the middle of-a nowhere?” He asked.

“Who are you?” Blade asked.

“I’m a-Mario,” the man said. He pointed at a younger, but taller man who ran after him. He was in a green cap with blue overalls. They both had thick bushy mustaches. “That’s my-a brother Luigi.”

Chasing after Luigi was a small chubby green lizard.

“Help-a me Mario! Yoshi thinks I’m-a berry!” But Luigi’s cry for help was too late as Yoshi smashed himself on Luigi’s back, letting out a triumphant cry of “yoshi!”

“What are you all up to?” Mario asked.

“We just came from… uh.. nowhere really,” Joan said.

“Hey, fox. You look familiar,” Mario said. He narrowed his eyebrows. “You’re not-a working for Bowser are-a you?”

“What? No, I just hang out with these guys?” Joan said, rubbing the back of her head nervously.

“Still think it was a good idea to come down with us?” Deathpit asked.

Suddenly a large earthquake shook the land, and a gigantic armored lizard leapt out of a pipe [Is it just me, or do all bad guys leap for some reason?] In his hands (or rather claws) was a young woman in a pink dress with long blonde hair.

“That’s-a Bowser!” Mario shouted.

“And-a Princess-a Peach!” Luigi cried.

“Okay, buddies! Stop right there! Hey you, youngster. Hand over the keyblade or Princess Peach gets it where it hurts!” Bowser shouted.

“No!” Freedan yelled.

Suddenly, a large barrel hit Bowser in the back. Standing behind Bowser was a colossal brown Ape, wearing (of all things) a red tie with DK written on it.

“Donkey Kong-a! That’s-a great timing man!” Mario shouted, as Princess Peach ran into his arms.

Donkey Kong let out a roar that sounded like a cross between a lion and a donkey. Bowser got up and ran off towards his castle that lie beyond the woods.

“That’s-a where he’s keeping the Super Star,” Mario said.

“Super Star?” Freedan asked.

“You know. The Star that controls the power of all the others. Bowser is trying to use it take over the Mushroom Kingdom. We have to go!” Luigi shouted as the four of them ran off towards the castle, with Mario riding Yoshi.

“I’m no plot expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s where we want to be,” Deathpit said.

“Excuse me,” came a raspy voice from behind them. They turned to see a man who looked like the two others, but wearing a yellow cap instead. “My name is Wario, and I can help you find your way into the castle… for a price.”

“What do you want?” Freedan asked.

“You take the underground tunnel I open up for say… 50 gold coins?” Wario offered.

“But that’s all the money we have!” Blade said.

“Fine, if you want to go the long and more dangerous way,” Wario said.

Blade grudgingly handed over the 50 gold coins. Wario clapped his hands and a trap door opened up beneath them. When Freedan landed, he cursed aloud: “You liar!”

“I didn’t lie! That path does lead to Bowser’s,” Wario smiled. “Bye!”



Freedan, Blade, Joan and Deathpit walked down the dark tunnel. Joan’s hair was on end the whole time.

“I hate damp places…” she whined. She heard a scuffling behind her and she lifted her crossbow.

Her hair reached it’s peak elevation upon seeing what made the scuffling. She was standing face to face with a ghost. It smiled evilly and in a high-pitched, whiny voice said: “Boo!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggghhhhh!” Joan shrieked.

The ghost began to chase them down the tunnel. They ran to the best of their ability, but found themselves stuck in a dead-end, with only a yellow brick floating above their heads.

The ghost drew nearer and nearer. Freedan’s mind raced: “How do you kill a ghost?”

“Kill me?” the ghost grinned. “All I wanted to do is tell you to use your heads.”

“What?” Joan asked.

“That brick leads into Bowser’s lair. But you have to activate it,” the ghost said.

“How?” Joan asked, standing beneath the brick. She turned around and the ghost was gone. But then she felt a hand on her shoulder, closing around her neck.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!” She screamed again, only this time she jumped up and hit the brick with her head. She rubbed it fiercely, mumbling several curse words.

“That’s how,” the ghost grinned, reappearing.

“What do you mean, nothing happened,” Joan said.

Actually, something had happened. A tiny sprout was starting slowly to grow.

“You better hang onto that sprout!” the ghost shouted. “It’s your only chance to get out of here!”

The four complied and grabbed onto a piece of the sprout. With sudden tremendous force, the sprout shot up through the ground and launched them into the air. When the “ride” stopped, they were in a hallway of a large castle.

“Ugh…” Joan whined. “Next time I’ll go Amtrak.”

“Why is everybody who wants to help us in this world also out to get us?” Deathpit complained.

They heard scuffling from around the corner and drew their weapons, only to see Mario, Luigi, Yoshi and Donkey Kong.

“Mario!” Freedan shouted.

“Hey it’s-a you guys! Bowser kidnapped Peach again! They’re in the throne room!” Mario said.

“Where’s that?” Blade asked.

Mario turned his head towards a large bronze door. Freedan opened it and saw Bowser standing in front of a chair, waiting to “Greet” them. Princess Peach was hanging from the ceiling by her hands and was gagged.

“Now, gimme that keyblade or I’ll tear you to pieces!” Bowser shouted.

“No way!” Freedan shouted. Freedan rushed at Bowser, who threw him back effortlessly.

“You losers can’t beat me!” Bowser shouted.

Donkey Kong through a barrel at Bowser, which Mario ignited with a fireball that he spit from his mouth, but the fire-barrel was also lazily pushed aside.

“Idea!” Deathpit said. He poured some of his gunpowder from his home-made bombs into one of the barells. This time when they performed the fire-barrel attack it exploded in Bowser’s face, but this still wasn’t enough to stop him.

Peach looked at Mario and tilted her head forward. The small tiara that she wore on her head glowed bright gold and transformed into a star.

“Mario! It’s all you!” Freedan shouted.

Mario grabbed the star and began to glow. He rushed at Bowser and punched him in the stomach. The force sent Bowser flying back. His black armor disappeared. Freedan finished him off with his Dark Friar attack.

However, before Bowser died, he cast a spell on Peach, and she disappeared from the room.

“No!” Mario shouted.

Suddenly, a large golden star appeared in the place where Peach was hanging from.

“Look, Mario! It’s-a the Super Star!” Luigi shouted.
Expectedly, a large keyhole appeared on the star. Freedan lifted his keyblade and sealed the keyhole. Enter Wario, saying: “Keyhole sealings are 25 coins a-“, but was cut off by a pissed of Mario bursting his hat on fire.



“Well then, I guess this is goodbye,” Mario said. “You say you might know where Peach is?”

Freedan truly had no clue, but she might’ve been taken to another world.

“You guys look here, we’ll search… somewhere else,” Blade said.

With these somber words, the group departed. However, Mario came back with a present for Freedan. It was a mushroom shaped keychain. He placed it on his keyblade, and it grew longer, changed to a green-color and when he slashed it down it blew a fireball.

“This job gets better and better,” Freedan said.



Chapter VI: TerraEarth Keyhole


Joan slumped lazily against a chair in the cockpit, “Well that sucked.”

“Yeah. There is definitely something big going on here,” Blade replied.

“Maybe we should go see if Fixy or Aoiga have any leads,” Deathpit suggested.

Freedan looked at the star map. “We’re about 6 c’s from TerraEarth. Okay, let’s do it.”



Upon their arrival back at TerraEarth, something immediately hit them all. The city was under attack by the Brainless! Aoiga and Fixy were fighting a rather large Brainless when they noticed Freedan.

“Get over here, keyblade master!” Aoiga shouted. “This baddie isn’t going to kick his own ass!”

Freedan slashed through the Brainless. Combined with the added ability of fire it tore through the black armor instantly.

“What’s going on here?” Joan asked.

“Shortly before you all arrived a huge wave of Brainless began to attack. They came from the statue gardens north of here!” Fixy explained.

“The keyhole!” Freedan realized. “We have to attack them at their source!”

“Go right ahead,” Aoiga said. “But we’ll be sending you home in a shoebox.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Freedan grinned.

Freedan’s group rushed towards the statue gardens. An enormous guard Brainless was standing in front of a statue of eFlare.

“That’s the one we gotta take down,” Freedan said, lifting his keyblade.

Suddenly a huge beam of fire hit the Brainless in the chest. Out of nowhere, Axe walked in front of the Brainless, sword drawn.

“Axe!” Freedan shouted.

Axe took no notice of Freedan, but continued to tear apart the Brainless. He lifted his sword and shouted: “Kuhazan!” The Brainless disappeared.

“Now, this part is your forte,” Axe said, turning to Freedan who sealed the keyhole.


“Axe! Where’ve you been?” Freedan asked.

“I found myself trapped on Expel, but I was picked up graciously by… a colorful bunch of people,” Axe replied. “Have you found Raini?”

“No, but we did manage to save Joan,” Freedan said pointing to Joan.

Axe glanced over, “Oh yeah. Glad to see you’re safe.”

“You too,” Joan replied.

“Perhaps you’d like to meet some of my new friends?” Axe asked. “You seem to have made quite a few while I was away.”

Suddenly two figures appeared behind Axe. One was a bald man wearing a blue business suit, and the other was a tall woman with spiky gray hair wearing a red dress.

“A hoy hoy,” said the man. “Charles Montgomery Burns, but you can call me Mr. Burns.”

“And I am Ultimecia,” said the woman. “A pleasure.”
Neither of them looked friendly, and Freedan felt himself instinctively reaching for his keyblade.

“We’ve come to settle this whole mess with the keyblade,” Mr. Burns said. “We’d like to purchase it for $500,000 in cash.”

“It’s not for sale,” Freedan replied.

“Really?” Ultimecia asked. “Then we’ll just have to take it!”

Ultimecia began to chant a long spell in a strange forgotten language. Freedan lunged towards her with the keyblade, but was cut off by Mr. Burns, who, despite his age, packed a mean punch with a revolver.

“We wouldn’t want you hurt, lad,” Mr. Burns said. “Well, not yet anyway.”

“Thundaga!” shouted a woman’s voice. A large lightning bolt struck in between Ultimecia and Mr. Burns, who disapparated.

Fixy and Aoiga leapt over the road blocks towards Freedan.

“Are you alright?” Fixy asked, as she began to cast a curative spell.

“Fine, except the bullet in my arm,” Freedan said.

“That’ll heal, no problem,” Fixy replied.

“Axe, how could you do that?!” Joan shouted in disgust.

Axe simply turned away and disapparated.

“So you’re still alive…but what are you playing at?” Freedan thought.

“Hmm, well we have two strange occurrences. The kidnapping of a member of royalty from one planet, and that mysterious group working with Axe,” Deathpit said.

“It may be prudent to assume the worst, but we can’t necessarily connect those two things yet. Why do you suppose they wanted the keyblade?” Fixy asked.

“Perhaps they are the ones behind the Brainless?” Joan suggested.

“You can’t control the Brainless,” Aoiga said. “They are incapable of learning, much less obeying.”

“Still, you have to admit the circumstances are suspicious,” Blade said.

Suddenly a voice shouted from an alleyway: “Did I miss all the fun?”

A young br
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gavdaman88
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Postgavdaman88 Posted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 12:40 am   Post subject: Reply with quote

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The mushroom kingdom chapter was probably my favourite, just because it's one of the only games thus far I had played (I did read the whole thing though). What are these pirate games you speak of Laughing

Quite funny, keep it up!

Oh and i think maximum post length cut a chunk of the story off it seems.
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Azure Phoenix
Also Known as Arashi or Gemini

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PostAzure Phoenix Posted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:26 am   Post subject: Reply with quote

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it was good so far but i have to say that some of it just seemed...well, odd it just didn't fit in a certain sense with the dot hack and super mario bits, if you understand what i mean, others may not get that, don't get me wrong those bits were good, they just seemed odd...oh and do you actually know how to do the italian accent or did you just put "a" on the end of random words?
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Jason Tandro
Level 20: Guardian of Pandora
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PostJason Tandro Posted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:15 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

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Lol. Actually that was me making fun of how crappy the translation was in the English version of Super Mario 64, wherein Mario's few spoken words were "It's-a me!" and "Mama Mia!"

Yeah this story was really poorly written. And what's worse is there is actually a sequel that I started writing a while ago. I am gonna cap it off and then post it here as well. Don't worry though. I am working on a GOOD Fanfiction. I promise.
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inferiare
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Postinferiare Posted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 11:59 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

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Might want to post the rest of what was left out there, Jase. XD
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EverPhoenix
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PostEverPhoenix Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:26 am   Post subject: Reply with quote

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that was awesome. although ive only played mario and ff8 of the games mentioned, i still enjoyed reading it. great work!
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PostJason Tandro Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:27 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

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What the heck???? It got cut off!
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