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A story I decided to write...

 
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SoulBlazerFan
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PostSoulBlazerFan Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 7:21 am   Post subject: A story I decided to write... Reply with quote

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This is a story I just had in my mind... well, it's not a full part of a story... but like, a sub plot I had in mind for this novel I am hoping to (One Day) be able to write. It's not action, but more of a drama about how shitty people really are in this world.

Well, here goes; (Note it's a little adult in matter)


Serenity, as she was named at birth, hadn't had that great a life in a very long time. She couldn't remember before she was nine- when her mother passed away from cancer. She was only 39. She remembered how hard her father had fallen into drinking, and how abusive and angry he'd become. The only protection she had when she was that age was her brother Darren.

Darren was a perfect student in school, and one of those kids who everyone knew would one day "make it in the world." He had everything going for him; good looks, intelligence, and, not to mention, he had a positive attitude, and would go out of the way for everyone.

His goal, he had told her when he was 19, and she was 11, and she was goal was to one day become a doctor. He slid right into a college near by- he'd stay at home to make sure his little sister wouldn't be beaten by their deadbeat father.

He had turned 21 and started a job at a The EMO, which was "The Emergency Medical Offices," which really was just a place with people who had little money would get decent health care, and in a tenth the time it takes at a hospital.

One afternoon, around fifty-thirty, he had been in work about an hour and was giving a soon-to-be-employeed young man the company-policied drug test.

In another room, the doctor-on-duty was making out with one of the candy-stripers who was interning there, both of whom were quite on the married side. She had accidentally spilled over a jar of rubbing alcohol, which slid down the wall, and into a plug socket. It began to spark, and almost immediately, the bed in the room caught fire, which quickly spread.

He swore he'd be the last one out, as he rushed everyone out, all the workers and patients- even the man on the toilet, he pulled him up mid shit, and got him out.

Then, the horror was learned, when someone said one of the desk-workers wasn't anywhere to be seen. Defying what was orders to never re-enter a burning building, he ran back in. Only two minutes later, the buildings collapsed in on itself. The woman who supposedly was still inside drove into the parking lot, rushing out the car with a bag of McDonald's in her hand.

"What happened," she asked. Everyone looked at her completely stone-faced. No one ever admitted anything beyond that, and no one ever got in trouble for any of their actions.

And the incident definately didn't help any on the homestead. Her father began to beat her, taking every fustration he had since her mother died years back on her. One night, he even went as far as to forced her to give him oral sex, or else, as he threated, "I'll beat you until your with your mother and Darren."

It forced her to become somewhat of a bitch-whore at school. She was passed around at parties like a joint; everyone got their chance for a hit at some point or another.

Poor thing, too... she was such a beautiful young girl... but it just goes to show... it takes one persons actions to destroy who a person is, and was, and will never be able to be again.


(It's kinda-rough, and extremely, I dunno, disturbing... but I hope that you, I don't even want to say enjoyed it, but got the jist of the story...)
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blueisalive
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Postblueisalive Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 7:37 am   Post subject: Reply with quote

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Sad, but it doesn't really sound like it was the actions of one single person that brought about all this.

My grandmother who was a nurse was telling me about what 'candy stripers' were today and how all the staff were color-coded which is an odd coincidence.

I like this little yarn, sounds very realistic. Good job!
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PostPaGaN3l3m3nts Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 10:32 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

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Hmmm... I see the intention of it, and definitely respect and admire the thought put into it, but I think reading it would normally just re-enforce to someone that people suck... Well, depending on the narration... Mmm... Hard for me to comment without feeling like I'm telling you what to do....
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