How To Cheer People Up

[Jason Tandro]

For my many strengths (to be somewhat immodest ) I seem to have trouble dealing with people who are upset. I never seem to know how to solve their problem and as a result have no idea how I should go about cheering them up. The exception to this rule is (oddly enough) with women. Women are more receptive generally to my attempts (pathetic though they may be) to cheer them up, but around other men, even my best friends, I tend to clam up.

If I am forced to do something, I usually try to lighten the tension with jokes, but these are just stop gaps, it seems. Any ideas?

[psychokind]

alcohol, talking about when you were kids, "you remember when you ripped off that street sign? damn man, I thought you were the hulk "

[SoulBlazerFan]

Hit them with a 2x4. That'll make them either unconcious (Thus no need to help them) or make them angry and they'll totally forget their problems for the time being.

Also, avoiding all angsty guys would help.

But to be serious, try to do what you can. If you can't help them you can't help them. But don't ever feel you need to take their burdens on yourself. Listen, but don't turn their problem into yours. It doesn't help anybody if two people are depressed.

[Freedan]

To be honest, most of the people I've known that needed cheering up were women. I find they're generally easier to help too, because they're usually more willing to talk about whatever's bothering them.

Case in point: one of my co-workers (fairly new at the time) was trying her damned-est to learn, help, and do well on the job. But no matter how much she did, the boss would pick on her and treat her poorly. It got to the point where she broke down in tears more than once. He wasn't particularly mean or anything, she just couldn't seem to get so much as a compliment from him. He'd accentuate the negative, in other words.

Anyway, she came in to do something, and had obviously just been crying. While she was working away, I stopped what I was doing, walked over and gave her a hug (without saying a word). She thanked me, and went on to unload everything that had been bothering her lately. I barely said anything, but I didn't need to. She just needed to talk to someone, and to know that someone gave a shit about her problems.

Most guys I know don't usually feel much like talking when something's bothering them. They tend to stew over it for a while, then move on.

[Ratty Randnums]

Try to help. Let them know you're there for them and as Freedan said let them know you care. Jokes are a plus to. Jimmy Buffet said it best "If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane." ( "....If we weren't all crazy we would go insane." X3) knowing there's someone they can talk to, and knowing someone cares can really help. Laughter is good to.

[EverPhoenix]

id say one of the best things is for them to know that someone will listen to what's bothering them. ive found that if im ever down about something, talking it out (even if the person is just listening and not offering much input) really does help.

then there always is trying to cheer them up with small jokes, humorous memories...