Friends With Benefits

[Jason Tandro]

This female friend of mine told me that she wasn't interested in a relationship with me, but she wanted to be "friends with benefits". Does that ever work? I'm one of the kind of guys who can't divorce being intimate with a girl with having feelings for the girl so I don't think it would work.

But I have been advised that some girls use the "friends with benefits" thing as a testing ground and may develop feelings for me.

I like this girl... but I'm not sure if it's worth it.

[chicken]

a SEX-RELATIONSHIP? XD

i honestly dont know what to say... well, i'd say go for it, treat her nice ( ) and maybe you'll get a "real" relationship from it
and hey, doesnt sound like you have to spend a lot of money on her, right? like paying dinner or other stuff she wants. you just get right to the point.

but i could also understand if you were saying that you wouldnt like it that way. i'd also have some trouble figuring out the right answer to such a question =/

[psychokind]

chicken wrote:

i'd also have some trouble figuring out the right answer to such a question =/

i wouldn't. I don't have to tell you my suggestion, I guess

[tay120n64]

If you're worried about developing feelings, then no. Only do it if you don't have to worry about either of you growing attached, especially if only one of you would want it.

[Jason Tandro]

My main concerned is I'll get attached and she won't. We have a history, her and I. This sounds like a great way to destroy a friendship or potentially gain a girlfriend. The question is... is the risk worth it.

And no, psychokind, you don't.

[Dark_Gaia]

it never works. watch the episode of seinfeld that they try to do it. ><

[EverPhoenix]

Jason Tandro wrote:

I'm one of the kind of guys who can't divorce being intimate with a girl with having feelings for the girl so I don't think it would work.

id advise against, if you're worried about something like that. if you do have history, it is a risk. sure, she might develop feelings in the process, but if she doesnt, and you do... something might happen later when she decides she doesnt want the 'friends with benefits' agreement anymore, and you wont be too pleased.

also, this does seem more of a members only thing to me, or a private topic

[Jason Tandro]

I'm pretty open about this sort of stuff, and I don't mention names.

[inferiare]

No. I would go with no. Things can go into disappointment territory if you're not careful, and if she's doing the friends with benefits with other guys... :/

[Freedan]

I would advise against it.

Quote:

I'm one of the kind of guys who can't divorce being intimate with a girl with having feelings for the girl so I don't think it would work.

Your instincts are telling you it would probably be a bad idea, and there's probably a reason for that.

It sounds most likely that you'll end up wanting more out of it, and the first thing you said is that she won't:

Quote:

This female friend of mine told me that she wasn't interested in a relationship with me,

It's very common for one person to want more, but very rare for both to want it. It seems to me that you'd only be setting yourself up for extreme disappointment.

Whether the risk of that is worth the temporary payoff is up to you, obviously. But it doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

[SoulBlazerFan]

Everyone has made great points. But in the end, only you can determine what is best for yourself. If you're looking for a relationship and she isn't, chances are down the road that fact may very well stay the same.

You have to figure out what's in the end not going to hurt you in the long run. There's no point to building yourself up for a potentially big fall.

[psychokind]

even if you're looking for relationship, it's always good to have a sexual partner at hand. you're much more relaxed when it comes to meet girls in private.

[Miss Prime Blue]

Quote:

This female friend of mine told me that she wasn't interested in a relationship with me, but she wanted to be "friends with benefits". Does that ever work? I'm one of the kind of guys who can't divorce being intimate with a girl with having feelings for the girl so I don't think it would work.

Sure, it works until it doesn't work. And then it's going to suck.

I've never had a friend with benefits, because I quite honestly like to treat my friends as friends and others as well, whatever they may become. It just becomes way too complicated otherwise.

But, basically being a playtoy for someone else does not seem like a "benefit" to me.

You sound like the kind of rare, decent guy with a conscience, morals and common sense (not to mention, respect for women as human beings, that's a good one).

So, I don't think it would work either. That kind of stuff works best for emotionally detatched or confused individuals.

[Jason Tandro]

Miss Prime Blue wrote:

You sound like the kind of rare, decent guy with a conscience, morals and common sense (not to mention, respect for women as human beings, that's a good one).

Wow. High praise indeed.

I do my best not to be an asshole. That's all you can really hope for in this country, lol.

[psychokind]

Miss Prime Blue wrote:

But, basically being a playtoy for someone else does not seem like a "benefit" to me.

if the guy is giving you the feeling of beeing a "playtoy", he's doing it wrong, I guess. you can have friends with benefits AND have respect for female human beings