Personal Hell Incomplete (For Mature Readers Only)

[SoulBlazerFan]

What I'm presenting here is something that is an attempt to find a deep darkness within a character, and exploit him for the purposes of the story. Right now, it's no where near complete, but I promise, upon completion, justice will be served.

Here it is, and for a fair warning to those of you who don't like alot of cursing or such, this story is loaded with it. By the way, it's a step away from my normal horror story arcs, although it does involve a certain character from Christian beliefs. So, here it is...


FOR MATURE READERS, or anyone who can stand mature themes...


Personal Hell (Incomplete)
By Robert Martin

“Welcome to Hell.” The dark voice said to me, as I felt the overwhelming heat on my body. I would probably sweat, if I still had living pores to release sweat. “Here’s your chance. See it happen all over again, see your faults, your folly’s. See the mistakes you made that led up to this point. See the reason you are here, and why.”
That about sums it up. If you morons didn’t get yet, I am, in fact, dead. And I have my own, personal Hell- just as everyone else does. But mine is extra special. I get to see the unfolding events of what led up to my eventual demise.
I seem to fall out of the darkness, and it’s light. I was back in my own bedroom once again. I got to look over myself, covered merely by a sheet and several articles of clothing underneath my head as a makeshift pillow. I always found pillows to be too soft for the back of my head, I usually placed a couple pairs of jeans underneath my head, because the rough surface of the jeans allowed me to sleep more comfortably at night. Go figure.
It’s about eight in the morning right now I suppose, and my room- wait no, I should probably refer it as my old bedroom- anyway, it’s cluttered after the fight I got into with my girlfriend last night. She’d found my stash again, and I guess I got a little upset at her…

“God damn it Joseph,” she screamed, holding the bad within her hand, dangling it in front of me. “You promised me you’d stop you stupid fuck!”
“Don’t call me that!” I had no choice but to backhand that bitch, no one ever says shit to me and gets away with it. No one.
“You stupid fuck! You could hurt the baby…”
“God damn it bitch, don’t you ever learn!” I gave her a good kick in the leg, not wanting to injure my child, even if it was with a useless lying cunt like hr.
“I fucking hate you! You don’t love me, all you want is a fucking kid to beat around as well! You’re such a shit head!” She tried to push me, but I pushed back, and she went flying into a dresser, knocking over my CD collection, and I was pissed.
“You bitch! You knocked over my signed Manson CD!” I ran over and picked it up to check it had cracked- boy, if it was broken, she surely would’ve gotten it.
“I can’t believe it you shit. You love a CD more than your own ex-girlfriend.”
“What the fuck does “ex” mean?”
“You know exactly what it means, I’m leaving and not coming back. I’m getting rid of this kid, too. I’m not letting you make another person like you in this world.”
“I swear to God you bitch if you do anything to hurt my child, I will hunt you down and strangle you with my bear fucking hands!”
“Fuck off!” She stormed out of the room, and didn’t even bother to help me pick up the mess she herself made. God, what a useless bitch she was.

I guess I kind of went off track there, sorry I had to tell you that. It’s unfortunate how bitches can get- in the way, take your pay, and leave you out to dry, and always want to see you at the most inconvenient of times.
Anyway, getting back on track, it’s about eight in the morning, and the phone begins to ring. I’m about to pick it up, let’s see who it is…
“Yeah… Uh huh… wait… I thought I’d already paid- Interest? Are you fucking serious? Fuck that… oh, fuck me, huh… yeah, you’re cool, go eat shit and die.” I hung up the phone. Hm, I seem a little smug, don’t I? Ha, I love watching me bitch out some punk looking for money I owe… wait…
“Jimmy… he wants fourteen? To the hell with that,” I’m getting up and walking over to the cabinet… ah ha. I’m getting out my bag of pot. But before I could start lighting up and all that, I hear a knock at the door. I get and walk over- wait, no don’t open the door! Stop!
“Yeah what do you-” It’s too late. I just got a fist into my face, and now I’m sprawled out on my ass on the floor. Brilliant, idiot, brilliant….
“I want what you owe Mr. Salvador. He’s very unhappy that you haven’t called or even asked to arrange any payment plan.”
“But wait, he told me I had two months…”
“Yeah, you did have two months, but you and your blazed mind and let two months pass by already. So I’ve come to collect; either something of monetary value, or something of human-tary value.”
“What’s that mean, human-tary value? You sound like a moron when you say that.”
“Just for that, I should slip this knife into your heart, turn a few times, and piss on your dying corpse. But instead, I’ll make a deal. Have the money for Jimmy tonight by ten PM. That’s fourteen hours, a grand an hour.”
“How do you expect me to get fourteen thousand in half a day.”
“Figure it out, or Mr. Salvador will cut off each of your fingers for every grand you owe him.”
“I only have ten figures…”
“We expect at least four by tonight. If not, Mr. Sal expects your head is worth a good four grand. Have a nice day.” Ouch. I didn’t think it was necessary for him to kick me in the face, but you know Mafioso types. A lot of talk and a lot of fat, too. It was by this point I realized I should probably start trying to sell everything I had- no, not to pay off that shit head, but to get a plane ticket, and get the hell out of this shitberg. I wasted a good hour looking through all my old shit, before I’d come to the realization that I had nothing I owned that would be worth anything near a grand, let alone fourteen.
“Fuck!” I don’t even know why I screamed at this point, I guess it was all the repressed anger I had (The anger he hadn’t taken out on his girlfriend), but then I realized. I could always take something from the bitch and hawk it. Then I remembered that one day…

“What’s this,” I had asked her, holding up this necklace. It was laced with diamonds, which at the time I had no thought of ever stealing- at that time I had actually loved her… but now…
“My grandmother gave it to me. She told me, if you ever get in trouble, just sell it. She was always crazy anyway.”
“What do you mean,” I had to ask her.
“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, with a smile. One reason I always hated bitches like her, she always did that. God, sometimes, I wish I could just pull a nine and end it. Fuck murder one, man…

I went outside to my car, I guess it’s around nine-thirty right now. I jumped inside, but as usual, the piece of shit doesn’t want to start. Of all times not to work, this really wasn’t one of them. I considered putting it in neutral, and letting it roll down a hill, and claiming insurance, but then I realized, I’d be dead before the night, let alone have to wait three to four weeks to get the money. So I had no other choice; I had to walk to the whore’s home.
If I wasn’t aggravated enough, it’s a good three miles away, and if I was lucky I could make it there in an hour and a half walking, forty five minutes running. I wasn’t about to waste any more time, so I tried to run, and immediately gave after about two blocks. This is one of those times you feel like regretting ever picking up habits, like smokin’ and tokin’, but I’d never give up those times for anything, even for some shit like Jimmy Sal.
I finally came up to her house, well, not even her house- she lived in one of those two family houses, and she lived on the first floor. It pissed me off, because the people upstairs always would call the cops on us whenever we’d get into minor fights. Even that one time she accidentally cracked her head on the bathtub…

“…no, not tonight Joey… I’m not in the mood.”
“Bitch, listen. You’re my woman.” I guess I grabbed her arm a little too hard… “Now whenever I want it, you’d be better give it to me.”
“Joe, you’re still doing drugs, aren’t you?” She tried to pull away, but I gripped her arm harder. How could she have known? “Let me go!”
“Stop screaming, or the Meyers upstairs might call the fucking police.”
“I might be better off if they did, Joe. All you do is hurt me.”
“That ain’t true. You know it isn’t. Without me, you’d have nothing. You’d be nothing.”
“Are you kidding? I don’t know why I love you. I have to pay nearly all your rent. Hell, why do you think we haven’t moved in together yet? I’d hate to live with you, having to pick up after you all the fucking time. You’re a fucking slob.”
“…You’d better take that back, Vanessa. You’d better take that back before I make you take it back.”
“What you gonna do Joe, hit me again? Huh? HUH?”
“Quiet down, shit. You’re such a loud mouth bitch.”
“Go to Hell, Joe.” That line is kind of funny right now, heh heh, considering where I am…
“You cunt.” I smacked her across the face… she lied upon the ground, and got up, but I guess I didn’t see the glass ashtray she picked up, because she got me across the face with it, causing a gash across my face, from the bottom of my lip, up to about my nose, and it curled off a little to the side, before it ended. Needless to say, I was on the ground, trying to stop the blood flow from my wound. The next thing on my mind was getting her and hitting her for each drop of blood she caused to me. I got up, and rushed after her, and I knew she had hidden in the bathroom, and locked the door. Stupid move on her part, as it was once of those cheap locks that would be open with a butter knife.
I grabbed a knife from the utensil drawer, and calmly walked over to the door, putting it in the little slot, turning it slowly as she doesn’t notice… and I turn the knob, but just as the door was opening, she rushed over and put her own body up against the door, as to try and keep me out. I put my own weight against the door.
“JOE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”
“Not until we have a talk, sweetheart!”
“Just leave, Joe, please. They probably called the cops upstairs, and you’re gonna get arrested again. You know what your probation officer said. If you get arrested again, you’re going away for five years, and you don’t want that, and I don’t want that.”
I suppose the bitch was right. I started to back away, just long enough so she’d let her guard down. That’s when I charged at the door full force, hit it, and sent her flying backwards. As she fell backwards, she cracked her head on the outer wall of the bathtub, and as she slid down a blood trail was left against. At that moment, my rage seemed to subside…

“What are you doing here,” she asked me, as she walked out of her apartment. And- what happened to your face?”
“Bruno.”
“Bruno… wait, Mr. Salvador’s man? You haven’t paid him back yet? You had told me the money I gave you would cover it.”
“Well, it would’ve. I bought this stash that I was gonna sell to make up the full amount I owed him.”
“You told me you owed him a grand, how much did you really owe?”
“…Ten. But now fourteen.”
“Jesus Joe, why? Why did you ask for that loan in the first place?”
“I owed the court a fine for my last arrest, you remember, when they found that small bag on me?”
“I remember, I had to bail you out that time.”
“I paid you back for that.”
“No, you gave me fifty bucks, you said you’d give me the rest later. You still owe me a lot of money.”
“Oh come on now… I promise you I’ll pay you back… eventually… once I get this new job, I promise, everything will get better.” For the longest time, I’ve been telling her the post office was interested in giving me a job, and she falls for the line every single time…
“Would you mind letting me go for a few minutes to clean up? I mean, if you’re leaving…”
“No, I wasn’t going anywhere.“ There goes my plan… “I saw you outside, and I was wondering why you were just staring out at the house… why were you?”
“I’m a little messed up right now. I got punched and kicked in a face by a guy who could rip Mike Tyson to pieces.”
She cocked her quirkly little smile at me. I don’t know why, but every time she did that, it just seemed to piss me off a little- it came off a little snide to me, that’s all. She led me inside, and into her living room, but I kept moving into her bedroom- where I know she kept the necklace. I sat down on her bed, and, as I always was, looked at the disgusting floral décor of the entire room.
“Just wait here for a little bit. I’m gonna get something to clean that up.” She left the room, and there lied my opportunity. I got up, and began to look around, and came to her little jewelry box. I rummaged through it as fast as I could; she didn’t own anything to brag about, except that beautiful- and lifesaving necklace, which wasn’t in there. As I closed it up, I heard her coming back, and I rushed back to the bed, and sat down. Boy was I ever smooth.
“Here you go,” she came up to me, holding a handful of cotton balls, and a bottle of peroxide.
“That shit ain’t gonna sting, is it?”
“Only a little…” she put it against one of my cuts, and I reeled my hand back, and looked at her. But at this moment I saw her reel back, and so I stopped, and moved back forward. (To be concluded... eventually...)

For anyone who actually took the time to read through the entire (incomplete) story, I thank you, and any constructive criticism is very welcomed. Now, don't take this characters point of views as my own- the story isn't even done yet- but I promise, as I said above, justice will be served.


SBiF

[inferiare]

Makes me wanna hit that guy, but I think that was the point of your story, yes? Very well done so far, just go back and fix up a few spelling errors.

[SoulBlazerFan]

rainichan wrote:

Makes me wanna hit that guy, but I think that was the point of your story, yes? Very well done so far, just go back and fix up a few spelling errors.

Yeah, you're supposed to hate the lead character- he's scum, and so far everything I could up with that I despise about human nature. But hey, as I said, everything comes full circle...


SBiF