Kingdom Smarts- Part 2

[Jason Tandro]

Um... Kingdom Smarts got cut off mid-story. Here is the rest:

Chapter VI: TerraEarth Keyhole


Joan slumped lazily against a chair in the cockpit, “Well that sucked.”

“Yeah. There is definitely something big going on here,” Blade replied.

“Maybe we should go see if Fixy or Aoiga have any leads,” Deathpit suggested.

Freedan looked at the star map. “We’re about 6 c’s from TerraEarth. Okay, let’s do it.”



Upon their arrival back at TerraEarth, something immediately hit them all. The city was under attack by the Brainless! Aoiga and Fixy were fighting a rather large Brainless when they noticed Freedan.

“Get over here, keyblade master!” Aoiga shouted. “This baddie isn’t going to kick his own ass!”

Freedan slashed through the Brainless. Combined with the added ability of fire it tore through the black armor instantly.

“What’s going on here?” Joan asked.

“Shortly before you all arrived a huge wave of Brainless began to attack. They came from the statue gardens north of here!” Fixy explained.

“The keyhole!” Freedan realized. “We have to attack them at their source!”

“Go right ahead,” Aoiga said. “But we’ll be sending you home in a shoebox.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Freedan grinned.

Freedan’s group rushed towards the statue gardens. An enormous guard Brainless was standing in front of a statue of eFlare.

“That’s the one we gotta take down,” Freedan said, lifting his keyblade.

Suddenly a huge beam of fire hit the Brainless in the chest. Out of nowhere, Axe walked in front of the Brainless, sword drawn.

“Axe!” Freedan shouted.

Axe took no notice of Freedan, but continued to tear apart the Brainless. He lifted his sword and shouted: “Kuhazan!” The Brainless disappeared.

“Now, this part is your forte,” Axe said, turning to Freedan who sealed the keyhole.


“Axe! Where’ve you been?” Freedan asked.

“I found myself trapped on Expel, but I was picked up graciously by… a colorful bunch of people,” Axe replied. “Have you found Raini?”

“No, but we did manage to save Joan,” Freedan said pointing to Joan.

Axe glanced over, “Oh yeah. Glad to see you’re safe.”

“You too,” Joan replied.

“Perhaps you’d like to meet some of my new friends?” Axe asked. “You seem to have made quite a few while I was away.”

Suddenly two figures appeared behind Axe. One was a bald man wearing a blue business suit, and the other was a tall woman with spiky gray hair wearing a red dress.

“A hoy hoy,” said the man. “Charles Montgomery Burns, but you can call me Mr. Burns.”

“And I am Ultimecia,” said the woman. “A pleasure.”
Neither of them looked friendly, and Freedan felt himself instinctively reaching for his keyblade.

“We’ve come to settle this whole mess with the keyblade,” Mr. Burns said. “We’d like to purchase it for $500,000 in cash.”

“It’s not for sale,” Freedan replied.

“Really?” Ultimecia asked. “Then we’ll just have to take it!”

Ultimecia began to chant a long spell in a strange forgotten language. Freedan lunged towards her with the keyblade, but was cut off by Mr. Burns, who, despite his age, packed a mean punch with a revolver.

“We wouldn’t want you hurt, lad,” Mr. Burns said. “Well, not yet anyway.”

“Thundaga!” shouted a woman’s voice. A large lightning bolt struck in between Ultimecia and Mr. Burns, who disapparated.

Fixy and Aoiga leapt over the road blocks towards Freedan.

“Are you alright?” Fixy asked, as she began to cast a curative spell.

“Fine, except the bullet in my arm,” Freedan said.

“That’ll heal, no problem,” Fixy replied.

“Axe, how could you do that?!” Joan shouted in disgust.

Axe simply turned away and disapparated.

“So you’re still alive…but what are you playing at?” Freedan thought.

“Hmm, well we have two strange occurrences. The kidnapping of a member of royalty from one planet, and that mysterious group working with Axe,” Deathpit said.

“It may be prudent to assume the worst, but we can’t necessarily connect those two things yet. Why do you suppose they wanted the keyblade?” Fixy asked.

“Perhaps they are the ones behind the Brainless?” Joan suggested.

“You can’t control the Brainless,” Aoiga said. “They are incapable of learning, much less obeying.”

“Still, you have to admit the circumstances are suspicious,” Blade said.

Suddenly a voice shouted from an alleyway: “Did I miss all the fun?”

A young brown-haired man in a grey sleeveless trenchcoat walked out from behind one of the buildings. He was carrying a lance.

“Jason Tandro. Where the hell have you been, we could’ve used you!” Aoiga shouted.

“Sorry, I was kept by business,” Jason said. He walked up to Fixy. “You know how tough it is this time of year.”

“Cut the crap, Jason,” Fixy said flatly.

“Heheh, okay got me. So what’s up?” Jason asked.

“Well we almost got killed, but thanks for asking,” Aoiga replied.

“Yeah, yeah. If you’re looking for a lead, I know where you can find some action. Big old nasty planet about 7 c’s from here. Low infestation level, but the bugger that is down there is powerful. He’s wiped out a good chunk of the organic life-forms already,” Jason said.

Against his better judgment, Freedan couldn’t resist his blatant overtures.

“Okay, what’s the planet name?” Freedan asked.

“Kyoto. Weird name, huh?” Jason grinned.

“Okay then, Kyoto it is,” Blade said.



Chapter VII: Kyoto

Red Riotz hovered above a small planet covered in buildings. Blade was scanning for potential dropping points, but none were away from organic life forms. It was indeed as Jason had said. The infestation was low, the organics was high, but there was incredible amounts of bloodshed.

“What do we do?” Joan asked.

“Fox-girl will stay here and man the ship,” Deathpit said.

“You wish,” Joan replied. “Hey look. There is a castle in the northern segment. There is a small broom closet on the side that we could beam to. That seems to be the only place.”

“Let’s go,” Freedan said.


They beamed down into the locked closet.

“This is fantastic,” Blade cursed.

“I love our new outfits!” Joan smiled.

Indeed, they had changed greatly. Freedan was now sporting medieval looking armor with no cape, and his keyblade had molded into a form of katana, with the sheath forming the key. Deathpit and Blade were sporting male kimonos, Blade had a staff for a weapon and Deathpit had a musket. Joan was wearing a brown kimono and had adequately “humanized” to match the style of the world. She still had her trade mark crossbow, but now also carried two kodachi at her side.

“That’s nice,” Freedan said. “How do we get out of here?”

“We could always break open the door,” Deathpit suggested, aiming his musket. With one loud bang the door fell open.

The found themselves face-to-face with a young boy in a yellow kimono with spiky black hair.

“Hey! Don’t shoot!” the boy shouted.

“Yes! I made it out of the closet!” Joan shouted. [If you didn’t see that joke coming smack your head against a wall three times.]

“Yahiko!” came a woman’s voice. Around the hallway came a young woman wearing sparring gear. She had long black hair.

“Kaoru! Did you find Kenshin or Sanosuke?” Yahiko asked.

Freedan’s group could only watch in amazement as the two argued.

“No! I think they’re upstairs already!” Kaoru replied.

As if answering her question, a loud bang was heard on the roof. They heard two voices:

“Sanno, watch yourself!” came the first voice.

“Hey you too, Kenshin!” came the other.

Yahiko ran up the stairs.

Kaoru turned to Freedan’s group. “Could you please help us?”

“You don’t even know who we are and you’re asking for help?” Joan asked.

“I know it’s rude. Please, though,” Kaoru begged, bowing.

Freedan nodded, and Kaoru smiled. The five of them ran up to the roof, where a young man in a red and white kimono with long red hair was fighting another man who was wrapped up like a mummy, with only his eyes and mouth showing.

“Kenshin!” Kaoru shouted at the man in red.

It was clear that Kenshin was badly wounded. His partner, apparently called Sanosuke, was leaning against the wall. He had spiky black hair held back by a bandana and was wearing white sparring gear with the symbol “Bad” on his back. Both men looked exhausted. The mummy-man just grinned.

“I’m disappointed that the legendary Battosai couldn’t live up to his name,” the man smiled.

Kenshin got to his feet: “Makoto Shishio. You have killed too many innocent people and you will suffer for it!”

A large gust of wind surrounded Kenshin. He shut his katana and gripped the hilt tightly.

“The Battojutsu stance?” Makoto grinned. “You are too weak to pull of something of that nature, Kenshin”

Indeed, Kenshin fell to the ground from exhaustion. Sanosuke ran up to Makoto and shouted: “Futai No Kiwame!” He punched Makoto in the back, but the attack did no damage.

“Get back!” shouted a man’s voice. A tall man with a thin black slick of hair wearing a blue uniform walked onto the roof.

“Saitoh,” Kenshin said.

“I’m here to lend you hand, Battosai,” Saitoh said. He drew his katana and lunged at Makoto. The two warriors moved so fast that the rest could barely see them. But when it was all over, Saitoh fell to the ground and Makoto landed on his feet.

“Well, I’ve tasted the style of Hiten-Mitsurugi, the Futai No Kiwame and the famous Saitoh. Who’s next? Kamiya Kashiin?” Makoto asked his eyes glaring towards Kaoru, who drew her sword. Makoto’s eyes then flashed at the group standing behind her. “I’ll favor myself with the keyblade next.”

Makoto lunged at Freedan. He moved so fast, Freedan could barely block all of his sword strikes. Kaoru ran over the Kenshin and Yahiko to Sanosuke. Joan went over to “heal” Saitoh while Deathpit and Blade tried to help out Freedan.

“Come on, keyblade master! Show me! Show me your true strength!” Makoto shouted.

The two broke off from their bout and Makoto lifted his sword in front of him in an unknown stance. Suddenly his wrap turned black, and his eyes glowed white.

“This technique I developed just for you!” Makoto shouted. “Tsui No Ryu-Sama!” Breath of the Dragon God (rough translation, probably not accurate)

His sword ignited on fire and as he slashed it down a large beam of fire blasted into Freedan. He recognized this technique.

“That’s my Dark Friar! You thief!” Freedan shouted. Freedan lifted his katana and performed his Dark Friar technique. Makoto managed to block the technique, but just barely.

Deathpit and Blade could do nothing, and Freedan was out of options. Makoto walked over to him and lifted his katana. “This is the end, keyblade master.”

Suddenly, Joan jumped in front of Makoto and knocked him off balance with her twin kodachi. “Freedan, get back, there’s nothing more you can do here! Not by yourself anyways!” There’s that foreshadowing again. Damn I am so bad at that.

“Myself?” Freedan thought. “Of course. Blade, Deathpit we have to summon the Trinity!”

“How?” Deathpit asked.

Joan matched sword strokes with Makoto surprisingly well.

“Where did you learn to fight like this?” Makoto asked.

“Let’s just say in my previous life I was a fox!” Joan replied.

Blade, Deathpit and Freedan tried to meld their minds. They saw an image of pure white light and the stadium suddenly grew very dark.

“What is this?” Makoto asked, who had stopped fighting with Joan.

“TRINITY!” Freedan shouted. Makoto’s armor was destroyed.

“Kenshin! Finish him!” Saitoh shouted.

Kenshin ran up to Makoto and shouted: “Ryusosen!”

Makoto disappeared in the white light of the Trinity, but with him went Kaoru.

“Kaoru!” Yahiko shouted.

“Another kidnapping,” Blade thought.

Freedan saw a large keyhole appear in the middle of the stadium. He sealed it.



“So what now?” Kenshin asked.

“I’ve got no way to tell you this, but I think I can save Kaoru,” Freedan said.

“I’ll come with you then,” Kenshin said.

“No, I can’t take you with me. It’s difficult to explain, but I’m traveling very far from here. I’m sorry,” Freedan said.

Kenshin sighed. “I understand. Here,” Kenshin handed Freedan a keychain with a katana on it. When Freedan applied it to his keyblade, he heard a locking sound which signified that his keyblade would remain the same way.

“On the plus side, Makoto is gone for good, and the Brainless will no longer attack this planet,” Joan said.

“Planet?” Sanosuke asked.

“Whoops, nothing,” Joan said.



Chapter VIII: Gnosis

“I think it’s safe to assume that the kidnappings we’ve witnessed all stem to that weird group and Axe,” Deathpit said.

“But why?” Freedan asked. “Why would Axe do something like that?”

“I truly have no clue. I’m sorry,” Blade replied.

“What’s the closest planet? Maybe if we hit enough we’ll find out more,” Joan suggested.

“Well there is a high energy body about 1 c from here, but I don’t know if it’s a planet,” Blade said. “The astronomical layout doesn’t seem fit for a life-supporting planet. It’s really weird.”

Suddenly a large tremor hit the ship.

“What the hell was that?” Joan shouted.

“Holy… this is impossible. Massive fluctuations are appearing in space-time! It’s like a tidal wave!” Deathpit shouted.

“Impossible! That defies all laws of physics!” Blade retorted.

[Author’s Note: Dialogue stolen directly from Xenosaga: Episode I]

Suddenly a large beast appeared in front of them. It was translucent, almost like it didn’t truly exist within this dimension. But whatever it was, it was large.

“Damn it! Gnosis!” Blade cursed.

“What?” Joan asked.

“They’re a rarity back in our region of space, but I heard they exist in deeper areas, like this one. They aren’t really real, but they can do damage as much as anything else. They can hurt us, but we can’t hurt them,” Blade replied.

“What do we do?” Freedan asked.

“Deathpit, we need to generate the Hilbert effect, but we can’t do that in this form!” Blade shouted.

“Right!” Deathpit replied. “Belt in guys!”

Joan and Freedan complied. Deathpit pressed a blue button and Red Riotz began to transform into a large bi-pedal robot.

“I didn’t know our ship could do this!” Freedan shouted. “You guys been holding back on me!”

“AGWS mode operational. Generating Hilbert Effect. 30 seconds until completion,” Deathpit said.

“We might not have 30 seconds!” Blade shouted.

“Okay, prepare to open fire, Blade,” Deathpit ordered.

“Right,” Blade opened up two chutes and jumped down into the chest of the Red Riotz. A mechanical clunking was heard and two large gatling guns appeared in it’s chest.

“Open fire!” Deathpit called.

They punched round after round into the gigantic Gnosis, but it only angered it more.

“5 seconds to Hilbert completion! Come on!” Deathpit shouted.

“Too late! It’s gonna swallow us!” Freedan shouted.

“You’re right. Damn it! Revert to flight mode! Shields up, full power!” Deathpit shouted, and immediately afterwards they found themselves inside the massive beast.

“This is ridiculous,” Joan cursed. “We’re inside the monster now?”

“Yeah, but the air is breathable, and the terrain is sturdy. Hey, I think we can get out,” Deathpit said.

“Have fun with that,” Joan smiled as she strapped herself in even tighter.

“Wait. I’m picking up trace organic life forms,” Blade said.

“More Gnosis?” Freedan asked.

“No, they wouldn’t show up on this scanner,” Blade replied.

“Alright then, somebody needs rescuing,” Freedan said, as he unstrapped his seatbelt.

Deathpit grabbed his arm. “You’re not thinking about it are you? As soon as we restore power to the primary thrusters we can go.”

“How long will that be?” Freedan asked.

“Thirty minutes or thereabouts,” Blade replied.

“Good. You stay here and do that, I’ll go look for those lifeforms,” Freedan said.

“You can’t be serious,” Joan moaned. [Author’s Note: Hehe! It rhymes!]

“I’ve no choice. It’s the way I am,” Freedan said.

Freedan opened the cockpit door and walked out on to the Gnosis.

“Well then dammit, I’m coming with you,” Joan said, unstrapping her seatbelt and walking out onto the creatures rough surface.

They walked down into the gullet of the beast until they saw a small group of people huddled around what appeared to be a campfire.

“Ho there!” Freedan shouted. “ Need a hand?”

The group was very diverse. A young man in a blue jumpsuit with silver hair, a young woman with red hair and glasses, two female robots, one with teenage appearance and the other with preteen appearance. The teen was completely silver and the preteen wore a small blue dress and had bubble-gum pink hair. The last person was a man in a black fighting suit with a small slick of blonde hair.

“Are you are rescue team from Fifth Jerusalem?” the blonde man asked.

“Um, afraid not. We’re from Terra Earth. We are a rescue team though,” Freedan said. “Do you all need a lift?”

“Yes please,” the redheaded woman smiled. “My name is Shion Uzuki. I’m with Vector, First Division. The tall robot is KOS-MOS, my project.”

“I’m a cyborg, Ziggarut 8,” the blonde man said.

“I call him Ziggy, though,” smiled the preteen robot. “My name is MOMO.”

“And I am called chaos,” the young man said. “For some reason, I don’t capitalize my name.”

They began to walk towards Freedan, but suddenly MOMO fell through a hole that opened up in the Gnosis’ interior.

“MOMO!” Shion shouted.

The Gnosis began to tremor wildly. “You all head back to the ship, we’ll go find MOMO!”

“No! Take KOS-MOS with you!” Shion shouted. “KOS-MOS. Your primary objective is the rescue of MOMO, understood.”

“Affirmative,” KOS-MOS responded.

They jumped down into the pit where MOMO fell. It was a long way down to the bottom, but KOS-MOS took it in stride. She even caught Joan, who was clearly not liking the experience.

“MOMO!” Freedan shouted.

“She’s right here,” came a man’s voice.

Freedan turned to see Axe. MOMO was standing next to Axe and smiling.

“We’re playing a game!” MOMO smiled.

“Now’s not the time for games! We have to get you all out of here!” Freedan shouted.

MOMO stared vacantly and said again: “We’re playing a game.”

“What have you done to her?” Joan shouted, lifting her crossbow.

“Just a quick reworking of her motivation drive. Now she thinks this Gnosis is a playground. Didn’t you always love playing games, Freedan?” Axe grinned.

“Come on Axe! We have to get going!” Freedan shouted.

“Oh, I see. You only want to play with your new friends. So be it,” Axe said.

Axe lifted his sword.

“Don’t do this Axe!” Freedan shouted.

“It’s the only way I can be satisfied. You haven’t found Raini, but I have!” Axe shouted.

“Where? Where is she?” Freedan asked.

Axe trailed off and said: “It’s the only way!”

Axe lunged towards Freedan, who managed to meet his sword strike. KOS-MOS walked over to MOMO and picked her up. MOMO shouted: “Put me down! We’re playing a game!”

KOS-MOS rewired MOMO’s memory chip and then began to climb the walls.

“Wait! What about us?” Joan shouted.

KOS-MOS didn’t turn around, but merely said: “My primary objective is the rescue of KOS-MOS. Helping you would decrease my chance of success from 85% to 67%.”

KOS-MOS continued to scale the walls. Axe turned around: “Make that zero percent!” He fired a large beam of fire at the wall above KOS-MOS. She fell to the ground, with MOMO on top of her.

KOS-MOS stood up. “Defeating that man will increase my chances of success to 97%. Engaging the enemy.”

KOS-MOS turned around and lifted two gigantic gatling guns seemingly out of nowhere and opened fire on Axe. Axe swung his sword wildly, deflecting all of the bullets.

“No mere robot is going to take me down!” Axe shouted.

Suddenly the walls caved in and they all died. The End.

No just kidding. Red Riotz appeared in it’s AGWS form and began to fire at Axe as well. Freedan got up and shouted: “Stop!”

None of the three battling figures took any notice of Freedan.

“Axe! You know where Raini is! Tell me! Please!” Freedan shouted.

Freedan rushed towards Axe who disappeared. Two, three, four bullets went through Freedan, and he fell to the ground.

“Freedan!” Joan shouted running over to him. KOS-MOS put away her gatling guns and calmly walked over to MOMO. She picked MOMO up and walked towards the Red Riotz. Blade and Deathpit jumped out of the Red Riotz and ran over to Freedan.

Freedan was still alive, but just barely.



Freedan awoke in a hospital wing in TerraEarth. Joan was sitting next to him, along with Aoiga and Fixy.

“You’re awake,” Fixy smiled.

“You had us worried, keyblade master,” Aoiga said.

“Axe knows where Raini is… I missed my chance…” Freedan cursed.

“What’s wrong?” Joan asked. “You’ll find her. You just have to keep searching.”

“I’m not worthy to wield the keyblade. I couldn’t save those girls that were kidnapped. I couldn’t even save Raini…” Freedan growled.

“Freedan…” Joan said.

“Damn it all!” Freedan shouted throwing his keyblade across the room. “Why me?! Why was it me?!”

“It had to be you! You are the only one who can seal the keyholes!” Aoiga said. “You’ve saved so many people who would have been destroyed by the brainless!”

“You can’t give up now!” Fixy said.

Freedan’s shoulders slumped. “I know I can’t.. I have to continue onward. Blade and Deathpit are fixing Red Riotz then?”

“Yeah,” Aoiga replied. “As well they should be. You took serious damage.”

“What about the people we rescued?” Freedan asked.

“They set up shop around here somewhere. They’re sending distress signals to Fifth Jerusalem, but that’s so far from here… at least 700 c’s. It would take a much more powerful vehicle to make it that far. Something capable of using the UMN gates,” Fixy said.

“They’ll be fine. I’m sure of it. I need to get to the next planet,” Freedan said.

End of Act Two

Act Three

Chapter IX: Hyrule

[Author’s Note: Similar to the Mario World chapter, I will not be focusing on any part of the story, but rather a generic story in itself. The Zelda game I will be focusing on is Ocarina of Time, and the world layout therein. Do not expect miracles, and to purists 1,000 apologies. I’m sorry x 1000.]

Freedan walked along the grassy fields of Hyrule, with Deathpit and Blade close behind him and Joan sagging in the rear. They had beamed down from their ship two minutes ago and were finding out that the high organic life reading was apparently bogus.

“Well it must have counted the plants as high organic life,” Blade explained.

“We need a human-meter,” Joan sighed.

Suddenly a young man in green rode up to them on a horse. He had short blonde hair and wore a green hat. He had a sword and bow on a bandoleer on his back, protected by a large shield. He had bombs attached to his belt and a grappling hook… he had gadgets is what it was.

“Excuse me! Can you help us out!” Freedan asked.

“I’m listening. What do you need?” the man asked.

“We’re looking for a town or settlement. Is there any near here?” Blade asked.

The man pondered over them for a moment. “You are a motley crew.” He drew his sword. “What are your names?”

“I am Freedan. This is Blade and Deathpit and this woman is Joan,” Freedan said.

“You call that fox a woman?” the man asked. “I suppose so. My name is Link.”

“What’s with the interrogation session?” Joan asked.

“Simply put, these are dark times. You cannot fool me into believing that you are from this planet. You can’t tell north from south, much less realize that you’re in the middle of nowhere,” Link said. “I have heard much about you, keyblade master.”

“How do you know what this is?” Freedan gasped.

“I read about it in ancient texts,” Link replied.

“Ancient texts?” Blade thought. “eFlare’s report?”

“May I see the texts?” Freedan asked.

Link passed a small piece of parchment to Freedan.

eFlare’s Report

Segment 1:

Came I to study the nature of the Brainless. They were as those who have no mind nor soul, hence came I to call them the Brainless. I didst then that there were threescore and eight of them and saw them locked in the deeper dwellings of my castle. I didst notice that they were of numerous manner, but upon joining as one did become sole-minded and of singular function.

They were strange, and sought a place deep within my castle, which I didst call the keyhole for it was shaped as such. Ancients have oft spoke of one who wouldst seal the keyhole, but from what? These monsters that seek it so?

Would I have but seen the inner eye of the gods, would I have but known no better, I wouldst swear under any oath, that these creatures didst so purely seek this keyhole. What could it be?



“I’ll be damned. It’s right here. Right before our very eyes. eFlare knew,” Freedan said.

“Do you understand this?” Deathpit asked Link.

“As well that I know that it is you who is supposed to seal the world from these creatures,” Link said. “It can be the only way. But they are not here, so your quest is for naught.”

“Impossible,” whispered Blade. “The infestation meter was off the charts.”

Suddenly a large group of black skeletons began to chase after Link.

“Stalchild. Fear not, they are as weak as they are stupid,” Link said. He pulled out his sword and tore the skeletons asunder.

“Brainless?” Joan asked.

“Yup,” Deathpit said.

“No, I was talking about Link,” Joan mumbled.

Link finished tearing apart the stalchildren and returned to his “guests”.

“You have the keyblade, but we have something greater,” Link said. “The Triforce.”

Suddenly a man walked up to them. He wore black armor and had a thin slick of red hair.

“Indeed. A power that is well shared between him, I and the princess Zelda,” the man said.

“Gannondorf!” Link shouted.

“Yes Link. Zelda has been expecting you for some time now. I daresay I was too,” Gannodorf grinned. “But my fight today is not with you. It is with these four.”

“Well your fight will be mine as well!” Link shouted riding towards Gannodorf. Gannondorf lazily knocked Link of his horse, who rolled when he hit the ground and struck at Gannondorf.

Gannondorf blocked the blow, but with a little more concentration than before.

“Is this how far you have come with the triforce, Link?” Gannondorf asked. “I am not impressed.”

Gannondorf threw Link off, and he was down for the count. Gannondorf re-directed his attention to Freedan.

“I’ve decided not to kill you yet. However if you wish to seal the keyhole you must do so at my castle,” Gannodorf grinned. “And take this boy with you.”

Link got up, and raised his sword.

“Save it, Link. You will need it for our final fight, right after I dispose of the keyblade master,” Gannondorf smiled wickedly and disappeared.

Link pulled out a small vial from his satchel on his belt. It was filled with a strange red liquid. He downed it completely, and his wounds healed swiftly.

“Wow! What was that?” Joan asked.

“Red Potion. It increases the metabolism making wounds heal a hundred-fold faster,” Link said.

“Wow.” Blade exclaimed.

“We’ve no time. If you really are the keyblade master then your goal is the same as mine. We’ll go to Gannondorf’s castle and confront the enemy there,” Link said.




They arrived outside the tall dark tower that was Gannondorf’s castle. Gannondorf stoop atop the tower and shouted, “Well Link! Do you think your hookshot can make it this far up!”

“Better my arrows, you fiend!” Link shouted. They ran inside the castle.

The first obstacle was a tall pillar, and a doorway above it.

“ How do we get there?” Joan asked.

“Hang onto me,” Link commanded.

“What! We don’t even know each other!” Joan shouted.

“Quit your jesting already!” Link grabbed Joan and fired his hookshot at a wooden post by the doorway. They went sailing upward towards the pillar. Joan landed with a gasp of breath.

“Let’s do that again!” Joan cried.

Link tossed the hookshot down to Blade, who was the only person who couldn’t scale the walls by himself. Freedan and Deathpit climbed up the side of the walls and they went through the doorway.

The next trap was a large room where the walls began to close in.

“What now hero?” Joan asked.

Link lit one of his bombs and threw it towards the left wall. It exploded and tore down a piece of wall.

“This way!” Link shouted, drawing his sword. They climb up a long set of stairs and eventually they made it to the roof, where Gannondorf stood.

“Where is Zelda?” Link shouted.

“Alas, she is already at Ultimecia’s Castle, you are too late hero!” Gannondorf shouted.

“Ultimecia. That was the woman that Axe was with,” Blade said.

“Well there is our proof,” Deathpit said.

“The time for talk is over. The time for battle is now!” Link shouted rushing towards Gannondorf.

“I should tell you, that I took Zelda’s triforce before she left. You are now dealing with two of the three pieces!” Gannondorf shouted as dark waves began to emanate from his body.

Link shouted in rage: “I still have one!”

The two warriors met each other with fierce precision, but once again it was Gannondorf who emerged victorious.

“You see, with the power of the brainless, I have the upper hand. Not to mention favor of the triforce. Now, you will die,” Gannondorf grinned.

Suddenly the light of the triforce left Gannondorf and went into Link.

Link’s body exploded with light and his green armor turned golden.

“Impossible! How can the Triforce have chosen you?” Gannondorf shouted.

“You are a being of darkness, I am a being of light!” Link shouted. “Was it not obvious!”

Link slashed at Gannondorf, who was stunned. Joan’s bow began to glow silver.

“The arrows of light!” Link shouted. “Quickly! Finish this monster!”

Joan fired at Gannondorf, and light began to pour through his body.

“This is impossible! How can this be?” Gannondorf shouted as he body exploded.

The triforce left Link and rose high above the castle. A keyhole appeared in the center of the Triforce, and Freedan sealed it.



“I will return Zelda to you safely. I promise,” Freedan said.

“Thank you, keyblade master,” Link said.

“Please, call me Freedan,” Freedan replied.

“Indeed. Take that report with you. I feel you have more need of it than I,” Link said.

“Thank you,” Freedan smiled. The two warriors shook hands, and Link rode off into the setting sun.



Chapter X: Springfield on Halloween

[Author’s Note: The cast of the Simpsons is ridiculously huge in size. I am only using the Simpsons, Mr. Burns, Mr. Smithers, Moe, Chief Wiggum, Flanders, Professor Frink and of course Kang and Kodos who all play either vital or minor roles. Apologies to favorites of anybody else, especially Disco Stu.]


The group in the castle had dwindled. Now only Ultimecia, Eggman and Mr. Burns remained. And of course, Axe, who had recently found his place.

“This is a sticky situation, isn’t it?” Eggman asked.

“Never fear. Where your other minions failed, I will not,” Mr. Burns said.

“What makes you so sure?” Ultimecia asked. “Confidence is what killed the others.”

“You see, my dear. If I don’t kill them, that fat oaf of an employee of mine will do the trick… what’s his name…” Mr. Burns got on the phone. “Smithers, what’s the name of that fat man who works for me? No not Chief Wiggum! Ah, what’s that? Homer Simpson, that human pin cushion from sector 7-G? Right then.”

“What’s that all about?” Ultimecia asked.

“I have contained Alzheimer’s and can’t remember his name, even though he’s been working for me for about fifteen years,” Mr. Burns said.

“Ahem,” Axe coughed lightly.

“Ah yes. Time for me to live up to my part of the bargain,” Ultimecia smiled. She glanced around. The seven cells were almost full. In the first was Subaru, followed by Peach, Kaoru and now Zelda. Ultimecia filled in the seventh cell with her magic. Raini lay back against the wall, unconscious.

“Raini!” Axe shouted.

“Her heart is faint, and her mind gone. The only way to cure her is to replace her heart. You know what you must do. You need the keyblade,” Ultimecia said.

“Why are you helping me?” Axe asked.

“Why dear boy, you’re like a son to me. I want you to be happy,” Ultimecia smiled almost lovingly.

“I seriously doubt that,” Axe retorted.

“Believe what you will, but let’s not forget, I kept my end of the bargain,” Ultimecia said. “Eggman, take this boy onboard with you. How is your… assistant?”

“Shadow is coping with some lost memories, but I do not think he will get in our way,” Eggman said.

“Very well. Go,” Ultimecia said.

“What about me, Utlimecia?” Mr. Burns asked.

“You and Mr. Smithers must not fail me. The keyblade draws ever closer to our headquarters. If he gets past the barrier point Springfield, then the space colony ARK will be our last defense. You must stop him now,” Ultimecia said.

Red Riotz now hover above a very tiny planet, about the size of a city.

“High organic life, and even higher infestation reading,” Deathpit said. “I think we’re getting closer to the source.”

“Let’s land here,” Joan said, pointing to a location on the terraforming map.

Suddenly a phaser blast hit their ship. Two ugly green aliens appeared on their “Hail” screen. They were tentacled Cyclops in visors.

“Greetings,” said one. “I am Kang. And this is my sister Kodos.”

“Hello,” the other said.

“What do you want?” Freedan asked.

“We’ve been ordered to apprehend you. Lower your ships shield or face us in battle. Either way is fine by us, but there is no way you can win,” Kodos said.

Freedan turned to Joan. “Let’s go!”

“Right, we’ll hold them off. After you’ve beamed down we’ll transform into AGWS mode and mop the floor with them,” Blade grinned.

Joan and Freedan beamed down, and Red Riotz transformed into the AGWS. A huge interstellar battle took place, but Joan and Freedan found themselves with other worries.

They were standing outside a seemingly basic looking house, but around them was a torn apart city with zombies running amuck and general havoc. They casually walked inside. They saw a small family of five. One infant in a blue dress being held by a woman in a green dress with tall blue hair and a pearl necklace, two children a boy and a girl, the boy with spiky hair and the girl with blonde hair and pearls like her mother, and a fat bald man with blue jeans and a white collar shirt.

“Oh my god, we’re in a sit-com,” Freedan realized.

“Shhh, TV,” said the boy.

“Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and the babies name is Maggie,” Joan said, looking into what appeared to be a set of binoculars.

“What are those?” Freedan asked.

“Name-sensors, to save us to awful time of introducing everybody,” Joan said. “I invented it after that run-in with the Gnosis.”

“Clever,” Freedan said raising an eyebrow.

Suddenly the power blew on the television and the kids screamed in terror, accompanied by Homer.

“Must get power! No TV make Homer think! Need beer!” Homer shouted.

“Power! The power plant! I bet something went wrong there!” Lisa shouted.

“Hello?” Freedan asked, wondering whether or not they were being ignored.

“Yeah yeah, we see you. We were just watching you on the television,” Bart said.

“We know why you’re here,” Lisa said. “We also know that for no apparent reason you will include us in your adventure.”

“How…?” Freedan asked.

“It must be the will of the Author,” Marge said.

The entire family began to chant:

“The Author is good,
The Author is great,
We surrender our brains,
as of this date!”

Across the way, Flanders, a deeply religious man trembled in his chair.

“My Satan-sense is tingling. Rod, Todd we’re going in the basement again!” He shouted.



Homer, desperate for a beer insisted that their next location lay somewhere in the vicinity of Moe’s.

“Now I’ll just step out… to drink… some beer… hehehe…doh!” Homer whined.

“Oh just go Homer, we know how much you love beer,” Marge said.

“Is this a good idea?” Joan asked.

“Believe me, Dad would probably just blow up the town if he came with us. It’s a wonder he doesn’t do it on a normal day,” Lisa said.

Marge drove off and Homer walked into Moe’s.

“Hey Homer how you doing?” Moe asked. “Zombies keep you.”

“Not really. Just Duff me,” Homer said.

Moe pulled out a bottle of Duff with an eyeball in it.

“Um, Moe. You know there’s an eyeball in there,” Homer said.

“So?” Moe asked.

“Meh, I’ll just drink around it,” Homer said bolting down the beer in one gulp. The eyeball was gone.

“You drank the eyeball, Homer,” Moe said.

“I’ll have you know I was paying tribute to Xiahou Dun,” Homer said.

[Author’s Note: Xiahou Dun, a Wei general from the Three Kingdoms Era of Chinese History (2nd/3rd Century). When one of Lu Bu’s generals Cao Ren hit his eye with an arrow he tore it out and said:
“Essence of my father, blood of my mother. I cannot throw this away,” and ate it in one gulp.]

“So you going to the final fight with Burnsy?” Moe asked.

“They’re going to fight Burns?” Homer asked. “I haven’t paid off my benefits yet! I have to go!”

Homer bolted out of the door to see Chief Wiggum sleeping in his police cruiser.

“Wiggum you gotta help me! I gotta get to the power plant!” Homer shouted. “Sure thing Homer, just lay off the donuts.”

“Never!” Homer shouted.

Wiggum tore through the city at top speed. Homer spotted Patty and Selma walking down the sidewalk.

“Hey Wiggy! Ten points!” Homer said.

“Sorry Homer there are laws against running people over,” Wiggum said.

“Even the ugly ones? Stupid America…” Homer whined.

Back at the plant, Freedan now led the way, followed by Marge, Bart who pulled out his patented “Lil’ Bastard Smoke Bomb Kit”, Lisa who was glancing all around her mumbling about the ‘destruction of the environment’, and Joan took up the rear.

Freedan kicked open the door that led to Mr. Burns’ office.

“Ah, so the keyblade master has arrived. Well I’ll take you down!” Mr. Burns ran towards Freedan, but slowed down to a walk then a crawl, as he began panting fiercely. He lightly scratched Freedan, going: “Take that you fiend….fear my fury…”

Mr. Burns stopped scratching. “Smithers, take them out.”

“Yes, sir,” came a voice. Smithers walked in wearing black armor and carrying what looked like a rocket launcher. “Sorry, nothing personal, but the boss is allergic to heroes, and I’m the one that has to force feed him allergy medicine. Not that I don’t love it.”

“Stop you effeminate Robocop ripoff!” Homer shouted as he burst into the room and tackled Smithers.

“Homey!” Marge gasped. She then fainted.Maggie began to crawl over towards Mr. Burns.

“Well, it appears Smithers has failed me. But there is always plan B,” Mr. Burns said. He pressed a button, which opened a trap door. Out of it came a huge hoard of Brainless.

“Leave this to us!” Freedan shouted.

“No, gahey! Leave it to me!” came a nerdy voice.

The walls crumbled open and a gigantic robot tore through the Brainless. Controlling it was a man with glasses in a green lab coat.

“Professor Frink!” Lisa shouted.

“Take this, hoyven-mayving!” Frink said as his Robot tore apart the Brainless with a gigantic laser beam.

Freedan rushed at Mr. Burns: “Let’s end this!”

But before Freedan could make it, three bullets were fired through Burns. The owner of the gun? Maggie.

“Oh no! Maggie shot Mr. Burns. Again,” Lisa gasped.

“Cool!” Bart shouted. “Me next, me next!”

“I wonder how Deathpit and eFlare did?” Joan asked.

“They’re fine,” Freedan said, looking out the window. “Except you might want to duck!”

Everybody hit the floor as the alien space ship crashed through the plant and over towards the boondocks.

Sitting in a pick-up truck, Cletus and Brandine, two country-folks looked up from making out at their farm.

“Well dogone it Brandine, now the government gonna come and take my money from dirt-farming,” Cletus groaned.

A great keyhole appeared in Mr. Burns’ window. Freedan lifted his keyblade and sealed it.

Deathpit and Blade landed the Red Riotz, and walked into Mr. Burns’ office. “We came, we saw, we kicked it’s ass!” [Author’s Note: Another plagiarized line from GhostBusters.]

Blade tossed a keychain at Freedan. It had a green spaceship on it. When the keyblade changed this time it turned into a gigantic plasma-saber (not at all like a light-saber) only key-shaped.


“Well thanks for coming by our town and stopping the Brainless. I think things will probably go back to normal now that Mr. Burns and Smithers are gone,” Lisa said.

“Yeah, but now I’m out of a job. Oh well,” Homer said.

“No you aren’t, according to Mr. Burns’ will he left you in charge of the plant,” Bart said.

“What will?” Marge asked.

“This one,” Bart said, pulling out an expertly forged document.

“Heheh, stupid Burnsy. He didn’t know I was gonna kill him,” Homer laughed.



Chapter XI: Space Colony ARK

“So where do we head next?” Freedan asked.

“I think I have an idea,” Blade said pointing at the starmap. “There is a space colony 3 c’s from here, behind that is a planet with a huge infestation level. That has the be the mother lode.”

“So the final fight looms?” Joan asked.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Ultimecia lies in wait at that planet,” Freedan said.

“So what, is the colony her aegis or something?” Joan asked.

“More than likely that is the case,” Deathpit said.

“Okay, let’s make a beeline for that colony. Shields at maximum power. Main gun charged. Let’s go!” Blade shouted as they warped.

When they came out of warp, they found themselves under attack. The colony was shaped like a giant face, and some of the smaller guns had begun their assault.

“Yep, they were expecting us alright!” Blade shouted.

“How’s our shield?” Freedan asked.

“It’s been better,” Joan replied. “Maybe we should go into AGWS mode?”

“Right! Okay let’s blast our way onto that colony!” Deathpit shouted, as he transformed the Red Riotz. Red Riotz’s shield deflected most of bullets, but the colony’s beam took out one of their two main guns.

Red Riotz pushed forward towards the colony at top speed doing its best to avoid the beams. However, one devastating cannon blow hit the Red Riotz hull, and sent it crashing down on a meteoroid. The Red Riotz was down.



“What am I doing here?” Knuckles thought, rubbing his red head. He climbed up the side of a meteor. “The Master Emerald is here somewhere. I have to finish finding the pieces.”

Knuckles found himself on what appeared to be a recked ship. He took one glance at the smoking wreckage and ran over to it. Deathpit, Blade, Joan and Freedan crawled out of it.
“Hey! Are you guys alright?” Knuckles shouted.

“We’ve been better,” Blade said.

Joan took one look at Knuckles and spat out the first thing that came to her mind: “What the hell are you?”

Knuckles growled in anger and replied tersely: “I’m an echidna, fox-girl.”

“You’ll have to forgive him, he’s so rude sometimes,” came a woman’s voice. They looked up to the top of the wreckage to see a woman with bat wings grinning at then.

“Rouge, so kind of you to show up. Hand over the pieces of the Master Emerald already!” Knuckles shouted.

“Actually, I was preparing to do just that,” Rouge said. “We have a problem.”

“What would that be?” Freedan asked.

“Eggman has lost his mind. He’s preparing to fire the Eclipse Cannon at a nearby planet,” Rouge said.

“We can’t let him do that!” Blade shouted.

Rouge threw down the pieces of the Master Emerald, and Knuckles gathered them up. They formed into one large Emerald.

“So how are we going to get there?” Joan asked, pointing above them at the Ark Colony.

Knuckles lifted up Blade and Deathpit and Rouge lifted up Freedan and Joan.

“We’re flying honey,” Rouge said.

And they found themselves soaring upwards, towards the Ark Colony.



“Well Sonic, so nice of you to join us,” Eggman said.

“Just tell me what you’ve done with Amy,” the blue hedghog shouted.

“She’s been taken to Ultimecia’s Castle, I’m afraid. Too late for you to save her,” Eggman said.

“And now, Shadow will tear you apart,” Eggman said, pointing to his black hedghog counterpart.

Suddenly the doors burst open as Tails in his tornado ship barged in.

“Sonic! We’re in trouble!” Tails shouted. “The Eclipse Cannon is ready to fire any minute now!”

“I’ll stop it! You take care of Eggman!” Sonic shouted.

“Where are you going!” Shadow shouted, running after Sonic.



Sonic and Shadow ran along a path towards the center of the Eclipse Cannon.

“You can’t beat me, Sonic. You never could!” Shadow taunted.

“As long as I make it to the Cannon before you do,” Sonic said pulling out a bomb shaped like a Chaos Emerald. “I can stop your plan!”

“That won’t happen!” Shadow grinned.

“Sure it will!” Shouted Knuckles who jumped on the platform in front of Shadow and punched him straight in the face.

Shadow fell back on the platform , cursing his luck.

“How could I, the fastest being alive, not see it coming?” Shadow said.

“Because you’re not the fastest. I am,” Sonic taunted. “Where’s Rouge?”

“With some guests who dropped in. They’re heading for the main control room,” Knuckles said.



Shadow recalled something that was said to him long ago. It came from a young woman he had cared for. Her name was Maria. But that was all he could remember. And the words: “take care”.

“I remember now, Maria. What you wanted wasn’t revenge,” Shadow said. “You wanted me to give our planet a chance. You wanted me to help everyone.”

Shadow woke with a start: “We have to hurry. Eggman is preparing to fire the Eclipse Cannon on Earth!”

“Earth is 2 c’s from here, can his cannon make it that far?” Sonic asked.

“True we may have moved, but this cannon isn’t just his. It belongs to a sorceress named Ultimecia. She will use it to destroy every planet sealed by the keyblade master. If this station becomes fully operational, she will be able to destroy all life! Then she won’t need the Brainless anymore. We have to hurry!” Shadow shouted.



“How do you like that Eggman?” Freedan shouted. “Have you had enough of the Trinity, or would you like some more?”

“How can I be undone by just you three?” Eggman cursed.

“Why are you succumbing to darkness?” Joan asked.

“My grandfather Gerald Robotnik was the greatest mind alive, and he was killed for it. When I hijacked this space colony that once was just outside Earth, I decided that I would reap revenge on all that sought for his destruction!” Eggman said.

“So by eliminating everything, you plan to ease you suffering. It won’t work, Eggman!” Freedan shouted. “You’ll only create more scars. Is that what you want?”

Eggman mumbled. “There was nothing I could do to stop it. But I can still stop this from happening.”

Eggman canceled the firing sequence.

“That was very brave of you,” Deathpit said.

Sonic and Shadow arrived just in time, with Knuckles trailing behind.

“What’d we miss?” Sonic asked.

“The chance to be a hero,” Joan smiled.

“Maybe not. I can’t seem to stop the firing sequence,” Eggman cursed. “Oh no! Ultimecia has sealed the control panel! There is no way to stop it!”

“How long until the cannon fires?” Shadow asked.

“Five minutes!” Eggman cursed. “We only have one chance. We’ll have to take apart the cannon manually at it’s core!”

“Right then. Let’s go!” Sonic shouted.


Eggman and Tails rushed to the area outside the Cannon’s Core, which was now full of Brainless, and blasted the doors open. Sonic, Knuckles and Rouge tore through the guard robots, and Freedan, Blade and Deathpit opened the final door.

Waiting for them was a huge dragon-like lizard. Shadow walked up to it.

“The prototype ultimate Brainless. This is my category. I’ll hold off the lizard, you activate the Chaos Emeralds,” Shadow said.

Shadow rushed at the lizard, the two exchanged blows while Sonic and Knuckles appeared to summon seven jewels.

“Those are the Chaos Emeralds?” Joan asked.

“Yeah,” Tails said. For all that was going on, Tails couldn’t stop staring at Joan (I mean, hey, they’re both foxes).

“I’ll help too,” Freedan said. “It’s been a while since I’ve summoned anything, but I have the perfect one for this situation.”

Freedan leapt to the side of the arena and began to summon: “Shenlong, dragon god and master of judgment, Zeus, god of the heavens and master of will: In our darkest hour there is only one entity powerful enough to save all that which is pure. With a prayer for forgiveness of our sins, we humbly ask you to reign judgment on all those who seek to undo the natural order! I summon you, Alexander!”

A large machine like being shot several white beams through the monster which disappeared. Suddenly the space colony rumbled with intense fury.

“What?” Eggman shouted.

“A huge hoard of Brainless have attached themselves to the front of the cannon. If we can’t destroy them, then the cannon will fire!” Rouge shouted from the control room.

“Blade, Deathpit, we need to fix the Red Riotz and quickly. Sonic, Shadow, you know what to do!” Freedan shouted.

Sonic and Shadow raised their hands above the seven Chaos Emeralds and began to glow brightly with a golden light. Sonic became gold and Shadow became silver. This was their super power form.

“Let’s go, Sonic! We’ll tear those Brainless apart!” Shadow shouted.

Sonic and Shadow flew out to the front of the colony and attacked the many Brainless that came after them. Blade and Deathpit worked hard to fix the Red Riotz.

“Power is back to normal, main gun operational,” Deathpit said.

“Shields up to 30%, main hull 87% restored,” Blade said.

“We only have two minutes left, we have to go!” Freedan shouted.

“If we take one hit we’ll tear apart!” Deathpit shouted.

“We have to take that chance!” Freedan yelled.

Deathpit and Blade nodded, as they transformed the Red Riotz into it’s AGWS form. They shot torwards the Brainless.

“Sonic, Shadow, keep the Brainless off of us, we’ll tear through the cannon with our main gun!” Freedan shouted.

Sonic and Shadow took position directly in front of the Red Riotz.

“Cannon charged at 70% and climbing!” Blade shouted.

“Just a little longer, Maria…” Shadow said.

“This is it!” Sonic yelled.

“Open Fire!” Deathpit shouted.

The Red Riotz cannon fire tore through the Eclipse Cannon, knocking the space colony Ark off balance. Ultimecia’s last defense had been crushed.



“I’ll give you the coordinates to Ultimecia’s Castle,” Eggman said. “But first I want you to do something.”

Freedan nodded and sealed the ARK keyhole.

“Now the Brainless will not be able to find us,” Eggman said.

“Where are you going?” Freedan asked.

“Back to Earth, of course. The keyhole there was sealed by your predecessor,” Eggman said.

“My predecessor?” Freedan asked.

“Take this report, it should clear things up,” Eggman said.

eFlare’s Report
Segment 2


And lo, I received a visitor not but three days earlier, which did answer some of my questions. He said that there was in fact a connection between the keyhole and the Brainless. He asked me if I would like him to seal the keyhole. But I responded nay, for I wished to study these creatures longer.

He warned me of the dangers, but I responded, saying that I wouldst rather study this for future generations. And when I asked him what his name was, he said simply that he was a friend, and that I might call him Boxxle.



“King Boxxle!” Blade shouted.

“We’re getting closer!” Exclaimed Deathpit.

“All we know is that the final fight is coming up. Let’s head back to TerraEarth for repairs and then we make a beeline for Ultimecia’s Castle,” Freedan said.

End of Act Three

Act Four

Chapter XII: Ultimecia’s Castle

“So this is it then?” Aoiga asked. “You’ve found the Brainless leader?”

“We know exactly where she is and we’re going to launch a full scale attack on her lair,” Freedan said.

“We’ll want all the help we can get, and if it wouldn’t be considered meddling, I would ask all the warriors we’ve met on other planets to help us,” Blade said.

“Maybe not them…” Fixy said. “But Vector’s Third Division has arrived. Their warships would love to see the Brainless get knocked out of the way.”

“So we’re to launch a war on the planet?” Deathpit asked. “Heheh, alright then.”

“Not exactly. Your Red Riotz will sneak in from the rear of our armada and you will beam to the surface. We’ll knock out the outer defenses while you take down the leader in person,” Aoiga said.

“A diversion?” Joan asked.

“And a good one too,” Jason said. “I’ve already set up a strategy for a ground attack once the main fighters have fallen.”

“Excellent plan,” Fixy complimented. “Just one problem, how are we going to sneak in you guys?”

“I don’t care so much that we sneak in as long as we have the larger number of Brainless on the outer reachs of the planet,” Freedan said.

“Bad news,” came a voice. It was Ziggurat 8. “They have also employed Gnosis. This creates a serious problem. We will need you to generate the Hilbert effect on your way in.”

“So now instead of being ‘safely behind the armada’ we are now twisted into becoming the friggin’ lead chariot!” Joan cursed.

“Let me pilot,” Jason said.

“What?” Deathpit asked.

“You guys beam down, then I can get your ship to safety,” Jason said.

Deathpit considered this. “You always were a better pilot than mechanic. Okay, it’s a deal, but don’t do anything risky.”

“You too,” Jason said.



The large armada of enemy vessels floated just outside the planet. There were at least 40 Brainless warships and 10 Gnosis. There were countless number of smaller fighters.

“Well Vector has plenty of warships, “Jason said. “At least 30. Plus plenty of AGWS units. I think this might be a fair fight.”

“Yeah, just fly,” Blade said.

The Red Riotz tore past the warships and activated the Hilbert Effect, the playing field was now level, and Joan, Blade, Deathpit and Freedan beamed down for the final fight.



The group found themselves in front of the sorceress Ultimecia. She was standing in the middle of a room, surrounded by the captured princesses.

“What is this?” Freedan asked.

“This is what the plan has been from the beginning,” Ultimecia said. “These seven princesses, including your friend Raini, will show us the final keyhole. Once that is opened forever, the Brainless will no longer be able to be held back.”

“It’s the only way to save Raini,” came Axe’s voice.

A young man leapt into the room. He wore a black jacket and carried a gunblade. “Give Rinoa back!”

“Ah, Squall Leonheart. How perfectly timed,” Ultimecia smiled. “Too bad your other friends couldn’t make it.”

“You destroy my planet and then steal Rinoa from me. I will kill you!” Squall shouted.

“I grow tired of this,” Ultimecia said, yawning. “Axe, tear them apart.”

“Yes, master,” Axe said lifting his sword.

With one slash he tore the very room in half and a large portion of rock lifted high above the castle.

“Let us see your precious keyblade do this, Freedan!” Axe grinned. “Or should I say, my keyblade.”

Axe took the keyblade from Freedan’s hand by sheer will.

“How can this be? The keyblade was mine,” Freedan shouted.

“Your weak heart can’t possibly handle it’s true power. You were just the delivery boy,” Axe smiled.

Freedan was now defenseless, and Blade and Deathpit were back in the castle.

“Come now, face me with your old sword,” Axe said passing a broken down metal sword to Freedan.

Freedan felt true hatred for the first time in his life. For the first time, he wanted nothing more than to see Axe dead. Was it the Brainless taking hold of him?

Freedan lifted his sword, and Axe did likewise. This was not like his fight back on 3-mile islands. This was so greatly different. The loser would die, the winner would carry the weight of his friend’s murder on his back forever.

Freedan rushed at Axe, who met him lazily with the keyblade and pushed him back.

“You’ll never beat me with that toy of yours,” Axe shouted.

“Thundara!” Freedan shouted.

The spell reflected off of Axe.

“It’s useless, I told you. And now, you will taste true fear!” Axe shouted. “Dark Friar!”

The beam of fire hit Freedan square in the chest. Freedan let out a moan of pain and fell to the ground.

“You are weak, Freedan. But don’t worry my friend, you’ll be able to help Raini after all. As soon as you are dead,” Axe said lifting the keyblade high above his head.

All those planets that he saved, all the people that he had met flashed before his eyes. This was it, he would never see them again. His whole quest had been for naught.

“No!” Freedan shouted, blocking the keyblade. “My heart may be weak, but it’s gotten me this far, and I will not let everyone’s suffering go to waste!”

Suddenly the keyblade appeared in Freedan’s hand and he tore Axe down with one strike.

Axe fell back onto the rock: “Well played…”

Freedan threw the keyblade aside and caught his friend. “Axe! Axe snap out of it!”

The rock slowly descended to the ground.

“I’m better….” Axe said. “I’m sorry, Freedan… it’s like…I was under… her control.”

Deathpit, Joan, Blade, and Squall were waiting in the throne room. Ultimecia stood next to her throne.

“You managed to break the spell on Axe?” Ultimecia asked. “Impressive. However, you cannot destroy me.”

Ultimecia summoned a gigantic monster to aid her.

“Griever, let us show them what we can do, together,” Ultimecia smiled as the beast and her merged together.

Squall ran on top of the beast and shouted: “Renzokuken!”

In an amazing flurry of lightning fast attacks he struck through the black armor surround Griever, but Ultimecia remained untouched.

“Try again!” Ultimecia grinned.

“No problem!” Freedan shouted, but his voice also belonged to Deathpit and Blade. “TRINITY!”

The white light tore through Ultimecia’s armor and she began to scream in pain: “How can this be?”

Ultimecia’s shattered body fell to the ground. Suddenly a man appeared behind her.

“My my, Ultimecia. You appear to be so weak these days,” he said.

“Who are you?” Freedan asked.

“It is I, eFlare,” he said.

“Alright, you’ve come to help us!” Joan exclaimed.

eFlare shook his head. “Only help you find the afterlife!” And with one sudden motion he flashed a huge dark beam into Ultimecia.

She cried out: “Yes, this is it! The true power of darkness!”

Ultimecia restored, but only slightly, her final form was something of a wraith of herself. She let out a malignant cackle: “I will open the final keyhole! The Brainless will purge the universe of light!”

The keyhole appeared behind her and she was covered in thick black armor.

“This is going to take everything we have! Joan, you need to summon. We’ll hit her with the Trinity and Squall you use Renzokuken!” Freedan shouted.

Joan summoned: “Athena, goddess of wisdom and power: We seek your aid to come forth in a pure and valiant form. We need a knight of light to purge that which is dark and wicked. I summon you, Odin!”

A warrior of light galloped towards Ultimecia, Squall hit her with Renzokuken and the Trinity was performed. The three attacks hit Ultimecia simultaneously and caused her armor to fall apart.

“Finish it Freedan!” Deathpit shouted.

Freedan took his keyblade and struck it straight through her heart. Ultimecia fell to the ground, and Freedan sealed the final keyhole.

eFlare grinned malignantly. “Well done. Now that you have sealed all of the keyholes, the process of purging can begin.”

“What?” Freedan shouted.

“These keyholes seal the planet, but open the door to the final darkness, Kingdom Smarts. All I have to do is tap into its power and I can flood the universe with Brainless,” eFlare explained.

“But why?! I thought you were studying the Brainless so you could get rid of them!” Freedan yelled.

“No. I was studying them so I could become the most powerful warrior in the universe!” eFlare shouted. “If you still wish to try and stop me, you will find me at the End of the Story. I’ll be waiting.”

eFlare disappeared.

Freedan broke open all of the cages. The women were still unconscious, but they were coming around. Except for Raini.

“Damn it, why won’t Raini recover?” Freedan asked.

“She’s lost her heart,” Axe said. “We need a fragment of memory. Anything.”

Freedan looked at his keyblade. “A piece of her heart… her memory lies within me.”

“What?” Blade asked.

“I’m sorry guys, but this is the end of the line for me. I have to do this,” Freedan said as he plunged the keyblade into his heart.

“Freedan!” Axe shouted.

Raini awoke almost instantly afterwards. Freedan was reduced to a small black blob. The women recovered. Raini looked down at Freedan, and smiled.

“I’ve been here too,” she said.

Raini embraced Freedan, who, in a flash of brilliant light, returned to his normal self.

“Raini…” Freedan said.

[Author’s Note: Much touchy feely crap ensued, and I’m no romance author. So imagine whatever suits your level of pervertedness and read on.]

“Ahem… wow,” Blade said. “That was something…”

“I didn’t know the keyblade could do that,” Deathpit replied.

“Enough talk. We have to head to the End of the Story right away!” Freedan said.

Raini gave Freedan a good luck charm. It was a keychain with a diamond on the end. When Freedan placed it on, his keyblade reverted to it’s original form but was made of solid crystal.

“This is the keyblade that will end it all,” Freedan said.


Chapter XIII: The End of The Story

“Jason Tandro to base,” Jason called on the Red Riotz radio. “We are picking up a transmission from the planet’s surface. Will proceed with beam up in five seconds.”

Freedan ran across the metal grated floor to the cockpit. “Jason, how are our specs looking?”

“Just fine. As a matter of fact, thanks to my masterful flying we’ve only lost two engines,” Jason said.

“We blew two engines on this thing?” Deathpit shouted.

“Relax, I fixed them,” Jason replied. “And boosted their drive capacity by three percent. Not much of a boost, but considering you can do 5000 lightyears a second, it’s pretty handy.”

“Well than, let’s go,” Blade said.

“Right! Back to TerraEarth for the victory feast, that’s what I’m talking about,” Jason grinned.

“No. We need to head to someplace called the End of the Story,” Freedan said.

“You mean the battle isn’t over yet?”

“Not even close,” Raini said. “Tell the armada to go home, this is our fight.”

“Can we handle this?” Axe asked.

“Oh those silly soldiers couldn’t help us anyway,” Joan said. “Even if we wanted them too.”

“No, but I bet I can,” came a familiar voice over the intercom.

The hail-screen came down and Dr. Eggman appeared on it.

“Eggman! How are you?” Freedan smiled.

“Great, now that I’ve learned that Ultimecia has slipped loose the mortal coil,” Eggman grinned. “We’ve got some people here on ARK who want to help.”

Eggman moved aside, and they saw Tsukasa appear. “I heard you saved Subaru, now I want to repay the favor.”

Tsukasa moved and they saw Claude and Rena.

“We want to help to,” Rena said.

“It’s the least we can do for you saving our planet. If we had let things progress as they had, we’d probably be stuck in a really crappy ending,” Claude said.

[Author’s Note: Watch Star Ocean: EX disk 6 and tell me I’m lying. I dare you.]

Claude and Rena moved and Wario appeared on the screen.

“I have to pay you back for the nasty little trick, plus I think there is some money in it,” Wario said.

Kenshin and Sanosuke appeared on the screen.

“You helped us, now we’re going to help you,” Kenshin said.

“Yeah, thanks to you there are no more worthy opponents on our world,” Sanosuke smiled.

Link appeared on the screen.

“I cannot offer much, but I will do my best to aid you,” Link said.

Professor Frink appeared on the screen.

“I have reprogrammed the ARK’s outer drive <gahey> to allow a greater propulsion thrust allowing it to travel about 30 times faster than you Red Riotz, what with the internal combustion and the rocket boosters, and the faster than light travel that’s impossible, hoyven-mayving!!”
Sonic

[Jason Tandro]

“I have reprogrammed the ARK’s outer drive <gahey> to allow a greater propulsion thrust allowing it to travel about 30 times faster than you Red Riotz, what with the internal combustion and the rocket boosters, and the faster than light travel that’s impossible, hoyven-mayving!!”
Sonic and Shadow appeared on the screen.

“Let us give this enemy a run for their money,” Sonic said.

“We can end it all now,” Shadow grinned.

Eggman came back on.

“See if you can convince that gun-blade carrying bloke to come as well and meet us on the space colony ARK at 0800 tomorrow. We have to plan this one carefully or it will all go to naught,” Eggman said. “ARK over and out.”

“So this is it, the final battle,” Freedan said.

“This is heavy,” Blade said. “All life in the universe depends on us.”

“Nothing new,” Deathpit said. “Unfortunately.”

Jason turned his head from the control panel. “Well then, should I set a course to ARK?”

“First, we get the Princesses on ships back to their homeworlds, then we try and get KOS-MOS to come with us,” Freedan said.

“Uh, the last time KOS-MOS tried to save your life, you almost got killed,” Joan said.

“Yeah, but we’ll need all the help we can get,” Freedan said.

“So this really is it then. No turning back,” Axe said.

“Okay,” Freedan shouted. “If you aren’t ready to die then get the hell off my ship!”

Freedan beamed down the princesses to a Vector ship, then contacted Squall and KOS-MOS, both of whom complied.

Squall and Jason met eyes. “This is our aid?” Jason asked.

Squall shrugged him off and turned to Freedan. “How are we going to fight an entity that can control the brainless?”

“I do not know, but we will try,” Aoiga said walking on behind him. Fixy was a step behind him.

“KOS-MOS, what is your primary objective?” Fixy asked.

“To obey any order given me, and not risk harming any friendly officer,” KOS-MOS said.
“Right. Add this to your primary objective,” Freedan said. “You are to protect your own life as well. Do not risk your life for ours.”

KOS-MOS thought for a moment, then said: “Affirmative.”

Deathpit hit the warp button and then blasted to the loading bay of the ARK colony. They all walked into a large planning room that Eggman had set up.

“Alright. Let us begin the planning,” Eggman said. “Keyblade master, it is your duty now.”

Freedan stepped up to the front of the room.

“This is our plan. Eggman and Frink will fire on the planet using ARK. Rouge, Knuckles, Tails: You are to assist them in any way. Sonic and Shadow have experience fighting in space so they will clear our entry way onto the planet’s surface.”

“Right. Leave it to us,” Shadow said.

“Tsukasa, Wario, Aoiga, Fixy and Link will be one group. Sanosuke, Kenshin, Rena and Claude will be another. My party will form the final group. Squall and KOS-MOS will be our aegis,” Freedan said. He sighed. “This is for all life. Let’s finish this now!”

There was a mighty cheer from the room and ARK blasted towards the mysterious End of the Story.

The planet was more than they expected. It was an enormous black sphere, with a single tower sticking out of the top.

“Let’s hurry up, this place freaks me out,” Jason said.

“Sonic, Shadow! Diversion time! Show those Brainless who is boss!” Freedan ordered.

Sonic and Shadow rushed out in front of ARK and began attacking the numerous black orbs.

“Just like old times, eh Shadow?” Sonic asked.

“Just be sure to keep your ring energy up, and watch out for those blasts coming from ARK,” Shadow said.

Numerous blasts came from the ARK Colony.

“Too bad we had to destroy the cannon,” Eggman said. “That’s exactly what we need right now!”

“I’ve figured it out. Knuckles, Tails and pretty bat lady (hoyven) will go try to fix the cannon!” Frink said.

“Right, we’re on it!” Knuckles replied. “Think you can keep up Rouge?”

“Better than you, Echidna,” Rouge grinned as she flew out the door into the cannon’s core.

“Hey this is Sonic. We’ve got a path cleared for beam down. Send in the first group!” Sonic shouted.

Kenshin’s group beamed to the planet’s surface, followed by Aoiga’s group, but Freedan’s team was cut off by a new wave of Brainless.

“Sonic hurry up and open another path! We need to get down there!” Joan shouted.

“We’re doing out best out here! There are too many of them!” Shadow shouted.

“If it gets too dangerous, pull out and let the ARK do the fighting!” Freedan said.

“No, we can handle it. Just keep shooting, your beams are a godsend out here,” Sonic said.

“We’ve got Tails, Knuckles and Rouge fixing the cannon,” Squall said.

“Good idea,” Shadow said. “But it won’t be easy.”

“Hey, another path opened up!” Sonic shouted. “Quick, beam down!”

Freedan’s group beamed down to the planet’s surface. The entropy of the battle they had just gone through was deafened. They were on a totally dead planet, and the only sign that there had even been a battle going on was the rays of light being fired above them.



Sanosuke and Kenshin fended off the monsters as well they could, but they soon found themselves overrun by brainless.

“I guess this is where we’re gonna die after all,” Sanosuke said.

“Don’t give up,” Rena called as she and Claude ran over to them.

“Ho Koh Ha!” Claude shouted. A large firebird attacked the Brainless behind them. “Our friends are all fighting. We have to fight to!”

“Our friends are fighting Sanno,” Kenshin said. “We cannot give up either.”

Sanosuke caught Kenshin as he fell to the ground. “You’re hurt bad, Kenshin. Let me handle it.”

Rena ran over to Kenshin and began to cure his wounds.

“You can heal wounds?” Kenshin asked.

“Okay, now I’ve seen everything,” Sanosuke said.

Kenshin got up and smiled. “We can win this. Let’s go! Our friends are waiting for us!”



“Thundaga!” Fixy shouted. “My magic has barely any effect!”

“I’m not surprised,” Aoiga said. “Doesn’t make the prospect any sunnier.”

“What do we do now, run for it?” Tsukasa asked.

“Not an option,” Link said. “We have to stand our ground. This battlefield must be our last, one way or another!”

“Those are fighting words,” Wario grinned. “Let’s keep up the pressure and we can win this!”



“Freedan, Raini, Axe, Deathpit, Blade, Joan, Squall and KOS-MOS,” came a voice. “So this is the group that will purge the universe of the Brainless?”

eFlare descended to the ground and turned to face his attackers.

“We’re all it takes,” Freedan said.

“Cocky boy! Let us see how well you handle this swarm of my servants!” eFlare shouted as a huge wave of Brainless came at them.

“You six need to go,” Squall said.

“What?” Joan asked. “We can’t leave you!”

“We are going to fulfill our duty as your aegis,” KOS-MOS said. “You are humans, not bound by a program to complete your duties, but you must complete this one or else all life will end.”

Freedan smiled. “She’s right, let’s go!”

Suddenly a loud shriek was heard and Red Riotz flew over the Brainless and opened fire.

“It’s Jason!” Raini exclaimed.

“I figured I might as well die a hero!” Jason shouted. “You get going, your fight is over yonder and ours is hither!”

Freedan, Axe, Raini, Blade, Deathpit and Joan ran towards the mysterious portal in front of them. Red Riotz, Squall and KOS-MOS nodded and defended the portal.

“Kuhazan!” shouted a voice.

Claude’s group appeared from behind the wave.

“Soryusen!” Kenshin shouted, tearing apart another group of Brainless.

A large beam appeared from the tip of Link’s sword, and Fixy shouted: “Waterga!”

“We’re all here, together?” Jason asked.

“And we’re all gonna die together. It was lovely knowing you all,” Aoiga grinned ruefully.

“Don’t give up until the end,” Tsukasa said. “That’s what Freedan taught me.”

“Right then. If we’re gonna go out, let’s go out with a bang!” Jason shouted.

“This is for the universe!” Wario shouted.

“This is for our friends!” Rena shouted.

“This is for the people who have suffered!” Fixy shouted.

“This is for us!” Link shouted.

“This is for Freedan!” Jason shouted.




“Cannon restoration is almost completed,” Frink said.

“Great, we’re ahead of schedule,” Eggman smiled. “This is ARK Colony! Sonic, Shadow: It’s time for you to come home. We’ll show those Brainless who’s boss!”
“Couldn’t have happened sooner!” Sonic shouted. “We’re dying out here!”

“Let’s hurry back to the colony!” Shadow yelled.

As they fled, the Brainless chased after them. “They aren’t after us!” Shadow shouted.

“Frink! Eggman! They’re headed your way!” Sonic shouted. “We can’t stop them!”

Shadow looked at the colony. “Maria. This is our last hope…”

“They’re going to overtake the cannon!” Knuckles shouted.

Shadow rushed past Sonic. “I am, Shadow the Hedgehog!”

Shadow raised his arms to the colony. “Chaos Control!”

A large green light surrounded the colony and it disappeared. It reappeared behind the planet.

“Fire cannon!” Eggman shouted.

The cannon pierced through the hordes of Brainless and struck the planet.

“Where’s Shadow?” Sonic asked.

“He’s falling towards the atmosphere of the planet. There is nothing we can do…” Rouge said.

“Farewell, Maria,” Shadow said as his body was burnt up by the atmosphere.

[Author’s Note: As Caster observed: “Don’t cry, he’ll be back in Sonic Heroes”.]

“This is ARK to Terranauts, it’s up to you now!” Eggman said.

“We’re doing fine down here,” Jason cursed. “There are more Brainless on the surface then there were in space, and thank you so much for that little wake up call that almost killed us!”



Inside the portal was a room that was completely dark.

“Welcome to the truth,” eFlare said. “The land of darkness. Kingdom Smarts! Look as hard as you are able, you’ll not find one glimmer of light.”

eFlare appeared again. This time he carried a large halberd. “You can try to attack me, but it will be futile.”

eFlare became surrounded with a large black suit of armor. “Go ahead, try to defeat me.”

“This is it. Nice knowing you all,” Freedan said as he drew his keyblade.

Axe rushed at eFlare, but he was thrown aside in one brutal swipe. Freedan came next, with Raini casting a spell behind him, but it was also pointless. Joan fired several rounds from her crossbow, but none worked.

Deathpit and Blade began to cast spells, but they were torn apart by the beast.

“We can’t win!” Raini shouted. “He can’t be hit!”

“What do we do now?” Deathpit asked.

“Run for it?” Joan asked.

“No!” Freedan shouted. “If he opens the keyhole then the Brainless will over run the universe!”

“We have to try something!” Axe shouted. “Or else our journey will be for nothing!”

Suddenly Joan’s crossbow began to glow, as it had done on Hyrule. “Our journey wasn’t for nothing.”

Joan fired a silver arrow at eFlare and his body froze.

“Impossible! I can’t move!” eFlare shouted.

“We all learned something!” Joan shouted. “We all have a purpose! Let’s finish this!”

Joan fired one more silver arrow, Raini used her power to seal the curse, and Freedan, Blade, and Deathpit cast TRINITY on the beast. eFlare’s armor cracked open.

“My turn!” Axe shouted. “Orion, god of the sun and all of the universe: This is our darkest hour, and we have nothing left to rely upon! Only your divine power can save our planet now! We are not worthy of your help, we do not deserve your sympathy, but we ask for your aid just this once! Please summon your mighty ship of doom to punish those who seek to destroy us! I summon you, Eden!”

A large blue ship appeared in the heavens above them and fired a beam down on eFlare who was torn apart by it’s power.


But after the beam subsided, a monster arose from the ashes. It was something far more terrible than they had ever faced. A broken sinewy voice cried out from the monster: “I am the master of the darkness! I will end all life! I will feast on your screams!”

It fired off one powerful shot which shook the foundations of the room.

“Don’t you see now? You cannot defeat the darkness!” eFlare shouted.

“It’s not darkness!” Freedan shouted. He was the only one left standing upright. “I have faced many powerful enemies. But my friends have never let me down. They are fighting right now, praying for my success. I won’t let them down! I know this! I know you are wrong! Kingdom Smarts is LIGHT!”

The keyhole in the back of the room opened and poured brilliant light into the room and eFlare was torn apart, letting out a single cry of : “light…”

Freedan lifted his keyblade but it would not shut.

“This can’t be!” Freedan shouted.

“The Brainless are coming!” Raini shouted.

“You need help?” came a voice.

A man wearing silver armor walked up to them.

“King Boxxle!” Deathpit and Blade shouted.

Boxxle lifted his keyblade and together they sealed the keyhole.

White light exploded from the keyhole and spread throughout the entire planet, and beyond. It reached out into every corner of the universe.

“It’s over,” Freedan said.

The planets returned to normal, and 3-Mile Islands was restored, along with the other planets that had been destroyed by the Brainless. Freedan, Raini, Joan and Axe returned to their planet, but Deathpit and Blade still visit them from time to time. And the keyblade disappeared until the next time it was needed.

[Whew! Not counting this little blurb this story is 23,614 words and 133,921 characters (with spaces), and 79 pages long!(at 12 font Times New Roman). I hope you enjoyed it, because I had a blast writing it. Some loose ends that I forgot to tie up, yes Shadow is revived and well,. but not the bad guys. ]

[Manibrandr System]

That was an enjoyable read.

[Jason Tandro]

Aw... that makes me feel happy on the inside.

[EverPhoenix]

once again, that was awesome. and 79 pages.. wow... longest fic ive written was like 15 pages, and i thought that was big.