Is Looking As Bad As Touching?

Jason Tandro · Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:53 pm

This is a sensitive subject, and slightly unfair on a gender level as there are tons of men but only a few women on this board, but I wanted to know if you believe that checking out members of the opposite sex is offensive, if it is cheating if you are with somebody, in short is it as bad as touching?

I personally think if you're single (as long as you don't get carried away), checking out other people is fine. If your with somebody, married or not, I believe that lusting after somebody else is basically cheating. But then I'm a tad on the hyper-religious side.

What do you all think?

EverPhoenix · Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 10:59 pm Post subject:

theres a difference between checking out and just staring. staring can be considered harassment, but i think just a casual glance (even if more than once) is fine, its just when you start thinking of what youd do when youre going a tad far

Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:46 pm Post subject:

It depends on the looking. A couple glances? Sure. But if you're doing nothing but stare at my boobs while talking to me (a guy was doing this to me last night at Starbucks; and he was old enough to be my dad, ugh) and I can see the "I'm totally undressing you with my eyes" look in your eyes? Just as bad as touching, it skeeves me the hell out, and even if I think you're super cute, you will have just turned me off to you completely.

psychokind · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:04 am Post subject:

in germany there's a saying:

"appetit holt man sich draußen, gegessen wird daheim."

means:

"you work up an appetite outside, but you eat at home."

Blade · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:13 pm Post subject:

psychokind wrote:in germany there's a saying:

"appetit holt man sich draußen, gegessen wird daheim."

means:

"you work up an appetite outside, but you eat at home."

High five to that!

SoulBlazerFan · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:23 pm Post subject:

Well... checking out the fairer sex is natural. Staring at them is odd behavior, but nevertheless still human nature. Stalking them is when it goes too far.

If you're just checking out a girl, no harm no foul. If you're intently staring at her- and have no plan to make any moves- I think that's the crossing the boarder of the comfort zones. Not to say I haven't done it myself- and any guy on this board, barring their own sexual preference, would be lying if they said otherwise.

Jason Tandro · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:44 pm Post subject:

Well yeah. I was a lecherous pervert in high school... and things only went downhill from there. I have learned to keep my eyes on my own work (if you will), but that doesn't mean I won't do a double-take of an especially hot girl.

Freedan · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:44 pm Post subject:

Glancing is ok. Staring isn't. I'd say that applies whether you're single or not.

Staring at someone is rude. And if you're with somebody, then you're being rude to them and the person you're staring at.

And it's creepy.

Jason Tandro · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:34 pm Post subject:

The problem with this discussion is the definition of the word "stare". As a general rule, I say under 3 seconds is a "glance" 3-6 seconds is a "look" and 7 or more is "staring".

SoulBlazerFan · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:50 pm Post subject:

Jason Tandro wrote:The problem with this discussion is the definition of the word "stare". As a general rule, I say under 3 seconds is a "glance" 3-6 seconds is a "look" and 7 or more is "staring".

I actually see glancing/looking as like, the 1-3 second barrier, and 4 to seven seconds as staring, and 8 and up as creep staring.

tay120n64 · Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:29 pm Post subject:

Looking isn't as bad as touching.

Like Raini said, it's okay to look at the new models, as long as you're not drooling all over them.

However, if you have a lady-friend and she's not comfortable with you even looking, then it doesn't matter which is worse, they'll both send you to the dog house.

Freedan · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:13 am Post subject:

Jason Tandro wrote:The problem with this discussion is the definition of the word "stare". As a general rule, I say under 3 seconds is a "glance" 3-6 seconds is a "look" and 7 or more is "staring".

Personally, I'd say that's a very generous estimate.

I'd say if you're single, up to 2 seconds is a glance, and more than that is staring. "Look" could fall in between the two somewhere, but there's a fine line between looking and staring.

And if you're with somebody, the "glance" time gets cut to a second. You turn, notice someone attractive, then turn your attention away. You don't want to make it obvious that you're trying to commit it to memory.

tay120n64 wrote:However, if you have a lady-friend and she's not comfortable with you even looking, then it doesn't matter which is worse, they'll both send you to the dog house.

That isn't really fair, though. It happens, but it isn't fair.

I think if you're that bothered with your partner so much as looking at someone else, it speaks to your own insecurity more than anything else. It reeks of jealousy.

If you get married, you're still going to find other women attractive. It's hard-wired in to your brain. It's completely unreasonable for someone to expect their partner to never look at or find someone attractive just because they're together. The important thing is to not stare, and even more importantly, to not act on it.

Miss Prime Blue · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:26 am Post subject:

Hmm. I'm not religious, but I think lusting for someone else while you're involved with someone isn't on the high end of the moral compass.

However, I don't find it offensive unless it's like, a really long obvious look. Like, to the point of rudeness. Other than that, I don't care.

Then again, if he really wants to get into her pants, he can have her, lol.

psychokind · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:32 am Post subject:

Freedan, the Dark Knight wrote: If you get married, you're still going to find other women attractive. It's hard-wired in to your brain. It's completely unreasonable for someone to expect their partner to never look at or find someone attractive just because they're together. The important thing is to not stare, and even more importantly, to not act on it.

/signed

I don't stare at other girls that much, except ones with a very huge chest

I love how my girlfriend facepalms when I loudly say "oh my god, look! look! what massive breasts!"

but if I see a guy on the urinal next to me with a huge dick, I immediately tell my gf "do you see this guy on the table? he has an extremely huge penis, amazing!".

means: as long as you don't see another person as a whole more attractive, it's alright. another good german saying (damn, recently a lot of them come to my mind : ):

"you have the bigger penis, but mine SMELLS WORSE!"

Blade · Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:25 pm Post subject:

psychokind wrote: "you have the bigger penis, but mine SMELLS WORSE!"

...ehm...aha?
We're so not getting on your side at the next World War

(sorry for posting nonsense stuff on Debate Island, I just can't helpt it)