A sure way to win a darwin award contest!

[Jokstica]

okay, you know you want to, so...
Make your own darwin award winning story! It has to be your own work, no basing it off darwin awards that have happened.

In case you don't know, Darwin awards are awarded to the dumbest of morons, the sadest of sad deaths, so sad...it actually makes you laugh til you cry.This is an award for the hurricane canoeing, "no way your gonna make that jump, man!" jumping wannabe daredevils that, according to darwins theory, shouldn't survive because the strongest survive...and i'm pretty sure that pavement is stronger than your face!

Here are the Prizes:

Darwin award winner: 100 gems

honorable mention: 50 gems

...and go.

[SoulBlazerFan]

Well, I have a story for you... it was passed down to me from my aunt, who was friend's with the guy who this story was about.

It was sometime during the mid to late seventies, the year I'm not too sure about. Possibly 1978, if my memories serve. It's late December, around Christmas time. The weather was unbearably cold, and no one in their right minds would've gone out in the blizzard that had come down.

It was somewhere in Jersey, possibly the Bloomfield area, where my aunt and father lived from the beginning of their lives through most of their early adulthood. Two people were out that night. One was an Indian man, manning a cash register at a convience store of no real significance. The other, is the man this story is about, whom I will give the assumed name of Jake.

Jake had decided it would be a fantastic idea to rob the store. He only lived about ten minutes away walking, and no one in their right minds would be out, getting things from stores, in that kind of weather. He entered in, and held the guy up. Got away with probably two hundred dollars- which was worth far more than than it is now. To give a rough estimate, today two slices of plain pizza and a 20. bottle of coke will right you just about 6 dollars easy. Then, it was 1.25. So, if I had to guess, he was getting closer to an estimate of 6 or 700 dollars of todays money.

He got home, and no more than two hours later, he was under arrest. No search warrant needed, no clues but one. And that, I will now explain:

The cops had come and taken down the statement. The weather was still awful, and no one but the cops had been in the store since the guy had held him up. No body. One of the cops, had a light bulb go on in his head. He knew no one was dumb enough to go out in that weather, and when he went outside- no plows had been able to go through, how bad the weather was- and saw the deep footprints within the snow. The same footprints of the thief, which lead all the way back to his house. No need for a search warrant, no other clues but the ones the thief left himself.

I hope that's what you're looking for. If not, I can give you something else. It is an old story, afterall.

[Jokstica]

That's definitely funny, it gave me a laugh, but to be more than honorable mention, it has to involve some form of pain to the idiot. Now, if the robber had slid on the ice and broken his leg or drove off a brigde, it would be both idiotic, and kinda funny. yeah, that's a darwin for you. generally, they involve the death of the person, but i'm looking for a laugh so, that could do, but probably won't win you the grand prize.

try again!

[SoulBlazerFan]

Here's another one involving, well, myself.

I used to backyard wrestle a few years ago. I stopped roughly May of '05... this story is pertaining to a match I had sometime in '04. It was a ladder match, and I was under the stage name "The Middletown Mauler," that particular character being a hardcore maniac cokehead, with an illigitimate child named "Mini-Mauler." I was wrestling another guy, whom I can't seem to remember at the moment.

Anyway, it was a ladder match for the hardcore title. I was about to win, climbing up the ladder. The referee, for whatever reason, decided to push the ladder over (I was on the next to top step). The ladder hit the "ropes"- nothing more than garden hosing taped and nailed into our "Ringposts." The ladder stopped on the ropes, and I tumbled- head/neck first- into the ring, onto a metal cookie sheet.

I probably should've died, the way I landed. I was lucky. But not everyone is- dozens of people are paralyzed or even killed doing backyard wrestling.


DON'T TRY IT AT HOME

[Jokstica]

haha, stupid...I mean, awe...poor you...

but yeah, that's pretty funny. well...since you seem to be the only one participating, you win....don't you feel just dandy.