Anything Goes Punch-Up

[Jason Tandro]

It's been a while since we've done one of these and I'm worried that the art has died. Well I've never been above kicking a dead body in hopes that the twitches and releasing of gas will imitate life.

So here it is, exclusive to this thread. By the power vested in me by being a Moderator and the only person left who cares about the RP Punch-Up: this Punch-Up HAS NO RULES.

Disregard all the rules on the main thread, with the exception of common courtesy rules: i.e. don't ignore posters and no god-moding.

===

[EverPhoenix]

*Rides in on a dragon, carrying two smaller dragons in it's claws, with each of those dual-wielding lightsabers*

"Let's do this."

[tay120n64]

Eff it. EP wins already.

Eh, what the hell...

*The ground shakes violently and begins to rise. A large stream of lava erupts from the center of the arena, raining down stones and magma all around. A clouded figure can be seen in the center of the stream. However, it's just an ordinary rock.*

*Tay walks in from the side of the arena.*

[Jason Tandro]

Jason drives into the arena on a motorcycle. Strapped to the back is every possible fire-arm known to man except for a tommy gun and a world war 1 era rifle which he was unable to steal from the museum. He's carrying a lance and looks up at EverPhoenix's giant dragon. He lifts up a rocket launcher and fires a rocket at the dragon.

The rocket misses spectacularly.

"Damn it," he sighs. He presses a button on his lance and the blade part of it turned into a lightsaber blade.

[Blade]

*a dog walks in, smells, and takes a leak on the spectacular stone*

[Jason Tandro]

Jason loads the dog into his rocket launcher and shoots it at tay, smacking him in the face.

[tay120n64]

*Tay reaches down and picks up the rocket-face-dog, then looks at Jason*

*Tay opens his mouth and a massive laser blasts towards Jason.*

*The dog opens his mouth and shoots a laser in the opposite direction.*

[Blade]

*scoop da whoop*

*Blade looks into Punch-Up Arena*
"Turbo, what are you doing here?? Get outta here, now! How often do I have to tell you, no punch up for you!"

[Jason Tandro]

Jason is obliterated in the massive laser and falls back onto the ground. However he stands up and rips off his right arm.

"Brains!!!" Jason shouts.

He throws his arm at Tay.

[EverPhoenix]

EverPhoenix tells his big dragon to throw a little dragon at Jason. The dragon flies up to Jason, and gets hit by Jason's flying arm. The dragon falls to the ground unconscious.

"...really?"

*THROW THE OTHER ONE!!!1*

[Jason Tandro]

Jason, thinking that EverPhoenix is talking to him, twists his body rapidly, dislodging his other arm which smacks EverPhoenix in the face.

Jason looks down at his body and groans a sad little groan at now being limbless.

[EverPhoenix]

*takes a faceful of zombie arm and falls off the dragon*

*lands on tay in a mess of limbs and lightsabers*

*the big dragon goes insane, flying around and breathing fire everywhere*

[tay120n64]

*Tay transforms into a Red Yoshi and starts spitting fire at limbless-Jason with EP on his back.*

[Jason Tandro]

Jason runs away from the fireballs and leaps into a giant slingshot. It shoots him into the side of the arena, knocking the far wall over. The sound of a dying pig can be heard from within.

[EverPhoenix]

GO! TAY-YOSHI! BREATHE FIRE OVER THERE SO WE CAN HAVE BACON!

...yells EverPhoenix, a bit too enthusiastically.